The Lady in the Mask
by parfum
Summary: How did Luten's wife manage to ruin Zuko? This is the story of Lady Kara, from her birth to her marriage to Luten to her affair with Zuko. Set entirely in the Fire Nation Court, the true colors of the Fire Nation nobility are shown.
1. Chapter 1 Prologue

The Lady in the Mask

It was chilly.

I could feel the cold breeze that seeped through the red silk curtains.

I looked back and saw the palace disappearing into the mist.

I hoped…I wished to never come back.

The palace was my prison.

And he was my prisoner.

I could feel his hot breath upon my shoulder as he looked upon me with disgust.

I remember his revulsion as he thrust into me.

He hated me.

And I hated him.

We both loved others but we were forced into our union.

I remember how he looked upon her with tenderness and kindness…with love.

He only looked at me with hatred and anger.

Now he was gone.

And I suppose I'm free.


	2. Chapter 2 Birth

**_The Lady in the Mask-_**

_This is just the beginning. Sorry it may be a bit boring._

I was born a duchess in the seaport called Thalassa.

My father, the Grand Duke of Thalassa, had married for love, much to the horror of his family. He was from the most powerful noble family, perhaps even more powerful than the royalty, and he had disgraced them by marrying a merchant's daughter.

My mother was a beauty. She was well known for her gorgeous head-full of auburn hair. No one has red hair except the special ladies from Varuna. My mother obviously was from Varuna, where my father also happened to be the Great Prince.

So while my father was visiting Varuna, he met my mother. He fell in love with her then married her. His family never forgave him but they couldn't do anything…he was their only heir. Therefore they let their hatred out upon my young mother. My mother never forgot that. Perhaps that was why she never liked Thalassa…she was never welcomed.

My brother was born first. He was named Kail, after a mythical hero from childhood tales. He was beautiful like my mother. He inherited her auburn hair and bright emerald eyes. What he did not inherit was her scowling envy and hatred. His eyes held no anger, unlike my mother's, which were full of dark secrets. My mother loved Kail. He was the perfect child. Handsome, kind, and smart…and he was a boy.

I was their second child. I was born in the dead of winter. Thalassa had a freezing winter that year. It was hard on my mother. She nearly died. Perhaps that's why she never liked. It was always like that; I was always killing her in some way.

I was not as beautiful as my brother. I instead had flaming red hair with my father's deep violet-blue eyes. My mother found me ugly so she threw me aside. My father was more kind. He found my beauty to be unique and gave me my name. I was named Kara, after him, Karan.

It meant beloved. It's funny…I don't think anyone ever thought of me like that. It was a wonderful irony.

My father loved me though. I was his one and only little girl therefore he gave me the gift of a new flower. It was blue rose, only able grow in Thalassa. He named it the Kara rose, after me.

My mother was always jealous of this act. She was always upset whenever the subject dealt with me. That was why she always escaped to court; she never stayed in Thalassa.


	3. Chapter 3 Brother

While Mother was always at court Father was always on a military campaign. Historically, the dukes of Thalassa were always superior in our military power. It was a shame that Father would be the last duke to be decorated with military honors.

Kail was beautiful but he was weak. He hated any sort of violence, in fact he could barely hurt a fly. Kail was a pacifist in the best terms but as the heir to the dukedom, he was only one thing…a disappointment.

So that was how the heir of the Duke of Thalassa and his young sister came to be known as the Hidden Children. Kail and I were shut from the rest of the world in our beautiful seaside palace and we were happier that way.

"Kara?"

Kail was looking dreamily up at the swirling ominous clouds.

"What?" I answered, rather testily. I was struggling with a tangle in my fire red waves.

"Why do you suppose that people call us the Hidden Children?"

Kail always asked questions like these. He was far more whimsical than I ever was.

"I suppose it's because they all assume that Mother is hiding us away here. What they all don't understand it that I prefer this arrangement."

"Really?" he was shocked.

"Why do you not prefer this arrangement?" I was rather shocked that he did not agree with me. Kail and I always agreed with one another on everything. Even if we didn't truly believe a certain opinion, one of us would always change our views to match the others.

"Well, it's different for you I suppose. You're a girl. It becomes rather romantic if you hear about a girl locked away in a tower…like those stories you used to read."

"But?" I instigated. I was curious as to where he was going with this discussion. It was very different from the far more loftier topics we usually conversed about.

Kail looked at me with his bright green eyes and gave me a sad smile.

"Never mind."

"Kail!"

Kail got up and walked back toward the palace. He never ignored me before but he did that day. It was different for him certainly and I would never completely understand his predicament.

Kail and I had one another and that was all for most of our childhood. He cared for me almost as much as my mother hated me. He was all I had.

Unfortunately my Mother did drop by our seaside paradise after her stint at court. She was reminded that she still had children.


	4. Chapter 4 Kail

An ominous wind blew and we realized that Mother had arrived.

Kail did not hate Mother, not in the way I hated her. She loved him so it was hard for him to truly hate her. He was angry with her but it was not truly of any fault of her own. It was not her fault that he was born so delicate, it was fate who decided that.

Mother hated me and therefore I hated her. I was the thorn in her eye and she was my torturer.

I never really knew why she hated me so and why I hated her as well. It was just a relationship that had been doomed from the start. Mother stood as the epitome of everything I hated and vice versa.

Kail and I stood stiffly as Mother billowed in with her mass of auburn curls. She turned towards our direction and gave us a cool smile. Her terribly gorgeous face smiled gloriously when she turned to her son but when her emerald eyes settled on my violet ones, she became slightly agitated.

"My children…my you have grown."

Her voice was smooth as the expensive marble floor she stood on.

Her serpentine eyes flickered toward our attire and she cleared her throat in dissatisfaction. She was about to criticize me when I rudely interrupted her.

"What are you doing here Mother?"

Her eyes became slits and I could see her hatred building up behind those pretty eyes. Before I could even blink she strode over and I cringed as I expected her stinging palm.

Unexpectedly however, her delicate long fingers reached out and roughly grabbed my chin. Her pale skin was as cold as ice as was her heart, I was sure. Her flawless face stood only inches apart from my own rather translucent skin. Any color I had before had drained when she had touched me.

I quickly looked at Kail with fear and he was attempting to separate us both. She, however, resisted.

Her fingers tapped my cheeks while a sardonic smile settled on her lovely visage.

"My little Kara," she laughed bitterly, "I always knew you would be troublesome…do not ever speak in that manner in my presence again."

"Well it shan't be hard, Mother. You're never here," I spat back.

I had been asking for it and I received my punishment right then. Kail had attempted to receive the blow for me but Mother was an expert at this by this point. Her elegant hand, laden with various jeweled rings, came quick and sharp across my bloodless cheeks. I didn't even have time to cringe.

"Ungrateful child. I shall never understand why your father favors you so much. You are so worthless…unpleasant and unattractive at that."

"Not everyone has to look exactly like you Mother!"

"My, my. She is vain as well. As much as I enjoy our witty banter, I did not come for you, my little daughter."

As I was sprawled on the chillingly cold marble floor, I quickly looked up at my brother who was gently picking me up.

"Mother, is this really necessary. Violence does not solve anything. Every time you strike Kara, you are only marring your nonexistent relationship further."

He was ignoring her subtle answer to the reason why she was here.

I suppose I always knew that there would be a day when Kail and I would be separated. I just never knew that the day would occur so soon.

Mother grabbed Kail's shoulders and smiled gently at him.

"It is time for you to follow your father's footsteps."

I saw his delicate face fall and my heart fell as well. We both knew what she was going to say next.

"You are going to the Royal Academy for Boys and I am sure that you shall become a highly decorated admiral like your father."

We were both sullen after that. Kail's worst nightmare had come to life and my life was becoming a nightmare.

I was left all alone in our seaside paradise and I realized something. Being alone, even in a paradise, was not really a paradise at all.


	5. Chapter 5 Cliff

I wasted my days sprawling on top of the precarious cliff which was towards the edge of our palace.

It showed off Thalassa at it's best. The grassy cliff overflowing with the fragrant blue roses stopped abruptly and made a dangerous vertical fall to the stormy azure waves below. This cliff held a rather disturbing history however.

Many women had flung themselves off this cliff into their impending doom. One of the more recent victims of suicide was a noble woman from Varuna, Lady Lyssa. A delicate woman of ethereal beauty, Lady Lyssa's death was still a mystery. She had been awaiting her wedding date, it was meant to be a fabulous spectacle. Therefore her committing suicide ,especially on the cursed cliff, came as a shock to everyone. However it always was like this. The people who died on that particular spot had no reason to jump…at least that was how it appeared to the others.

I liked that cliff for some strange reason though and so did everyone else. The danger and the horror added to the magnificent view. It was haunting and magnetic. It was impossible to keep away, therefore many of Mother's parties were held on that dangerous cliff.

I happened to be on that very cliff blowing blue rose petals into their watery grave. I sighed deeply in boredom. Kail had been gone for several months and I was all alone. My only companion had abandoned me.

As I pushed a basketful of blue petals into the choppy waves, I was startled by someone tapping my shoulder. As I turned my wreath of flowers slipped and hindered my view.

"Did you miss me Kara?"

I could not possibly have forgotten his voice.

"Kail! You're back!" I jumped into his arms and he laughed softly at my enthusiasm.

"Did you miss me Kail?" I asked earnestly.

He smiled sorrowfully and nodded.

"You cannot possibly imagine how much I've missed you, Kara."

To celebrate Kail's first year at school, Mother's excuse, we held an extravagant banquet which also happened to coincide with my birthday. Because it was winter, Mother was forced to abandon her favorite spot for her parties and held it inside.

Kail was sullen after our enthusiastic reunion. He would wake up in a fright and have terrible nightmares. When he was awake, he would wander around aimlessly and dangerously close to the edge of the lightly snowed cliff. I would call him in terror when he walked perilously close. Kail would then turn and give me a sad smile, his once bright emerald eyes muted and dulled with dangerous thoughts.

I should have told someone. Perhaps Father, maybe even Mother. But I didn't want to believe that anything was wrong with Kail. He was my perfect brother…there couldn't possibly be anything he had trouble with. He remained perfect in my mind just as he had always been.

When it came to parties, my Mother was talented. She held an impressive guest list including princes and princesses of various nobility. One particular guest was the famously elegant Princess Ursa and her children. Mother wanted us to become acquainted.

Princess Ursa was a lovely woman, differently pretty than Mother. Mother had a more striking exotic appearance and her beauty was far more evident. Princess Ursa however was quietly beautiful. She had a noble patrician air about her with her pale face and smooth raven black hair. Her gold eyes held kind warm light while Mother's was seductive and terrifying.

The princess looked at me and she appeared rather shocked. After she regained her composure, she looked at me reminiscently. She smiled genuinely, warmly and embraced me. The princess said that I was to treat her like my aunt and I was only excited to oblige. She was so kind and motherly, something my own mother wasn't. I was envious of her children who had her as their mother but became quick friends with her son. He was kind to me as well…this feeling of being welcomed was so new to me, I felt strange.

After a while I noticed Kail's absence. This party was just as much for him as it was for me. I looked everywhere but could not find him. I searched and realized that he was outside by the cliff. In a panic I picked up my white, diamond encrusted skirt and ran outside to the snowy cliff.

Kail stood hunched over the cliff. I could see his dark figure and his cold breath outlined against the moonlit sky.

"Kail!" I shouted loudly as I ran across the lightly packed snow. My thin gown did little to keep me warm and I felt the cold seeping through everywhere.

He turned to me and gave me his sad smile again.

"Kail, what are you doing here? Let's go inside. Everyone is looking for you. My goodness you must be an icicle by now!" I rambled nervously for I felt an ominous wind starting to blow heavily.

The wind blew around us and I could see the stormy waves crashing heavily against the cliff. Kail looked down then was about to speak when we heard several of the guests approaching us. He looked up in a panic and started to move. I quickly grasped his arm and looked at him in panic. Kail struggled to loosen himself from my death grip.

"Kail! Kara!" We heard Mother's panicking voice nearby and I became distracted.

As I turned to Mother's figure, Kail pushed me accidentally and I felt myself falling. Wide-eyed and stricken I threw my arms to grasp my Mother's but she almost seemed to smile. As my mouth opened in horror, Kail horrified at what he had accidentally done grabbed my hand and fell in an attempt to pull me up. Mother's face became stricken as well and scrambled to grab Kail's hand but it was too late.

The very last thing I remember was Kail's horrified expression and his guilt laden eyes. He however would not remember anything.


	6. Chapter 6 Snow

My head felt heavy when I woke. The white canopy blew gently and I felt airy.

"My lady! Are you truly awake?" My maid Mora's heavy accent ringed in my ears.

"What are you talking about?" I struggled to raise myself.

Mora fell into convulsing sobs. I felt as if something bad had happened and I suddenly remembered the fall, the cold freezing water. I scrambled to my feet and ran frantically towards Kail's bedroom.

"Kail! You know I had the silliest dream. You and I, we were in the sea…isn't that funny Kail?"

Kail was not in his room. It was perfectly empty. It looked as if it had not been used in about a month. I felt a horrific feeling washing over my body. I fell to the floor as I heard Mora run behind me.

"My Lady…it has been a month. You have been on your bed for a month." Mora's tears fell in sharp splashes on the marble floor and I felt all feeling escaping from my body.

"He's dead?" I asked knowing the answer.

"His funeral is occurring right now by the sea."

My tears cascaded down my cold cheeks as I ran out to see the black lacquer boat floating lightly by the shore. I picked up the edges of my light white nightgown and ran to the edge of the boat, ignoring the stinging pain of the cold snow against my bare feet.

Mother and Father were by the shore. Mother was heavily veiled but we could all hear her devastating sobs. Father, in contrast, stood silently and supported my falling mother. When she saw me however she regained her strength and charged after me.

"You! It was you! He jumped because of you!" She snarled at me and slapped me across the cheeks. "I always knew that you would cause me misery! How dare you touch him!"

I ignored her and looked at my calm beautiful brother. I would never be able to see his brilliant eyes and his beautiful smile. No one would ever know of his beauty, only the sea would swallow him and take him away forever. My tears fell and splashed across his colorless cheeks. Then they quietly placed his funeral mask, forever hiding his face for eternity.

They dragged me off the boat and set his boat to disappear behind the large enveloping waves. As his boat was swallowed into the dark waves, I felt myself drowning along with him.

I did not know why he did what he did. Kail had no reason, at least none of which I was aware of, to succumb to the same fate as all those women. I just could not understand why he felt that he needed to jump.

As I replayed that night in my mind, I remembered Mother's actions that night. She had smiled when I fell and only reached out for her son. She had wanted me to fall…My mother wanted me to die. Unfortunately the wrong child survived that fall.

I felt as if the world had stopped turning when Kail died. My heart stopped beating, I stopped breathing. I was eleven and he was only sixteen. My childhood ended then.


	7. Chapter 7 Mother

Father was frightened that I would succumb to a similar fate as Kail and ordered me to attend the Royal Academy for Girls. I was forced to stay as far away from that cliff as possible.

Something inside me had died certainly but I was still alive. The fact that my mother had intended for me to die taught me an invaluable lesson. I would never trust or underestimate anyone again, even if they were family.

The recent scandals surrounding my family, my previous inexperience of court life, and my exotic appearance quickly made me popular among my peers. I immersed myself in this new world and tried to forget everything about my family. I wished to disappear.

It was not until I was sixteen myself when I finally returned to Thalassa.

Father's family had arrived to pester Mother. All Mother could do to respond was her sharp dart like glare. These were all nobles of better lineage and higher nobility than she could ever hope to be. Father's family was an ancient and noble bloodline and they made it clear to Mother every breathing second they had. It was Father's aunt and cousin who made it the most clear.

"Callia, you must take better care of Karan. I am not sure how your mother treated your father but that is not how _we _treat our heirs," Father's aunt, Countess Ryuia, would comment in her demeaning manner.

"Now that you have lost your only heir, I suppose that the dukedom will have to go to another family," Father's cousin, Lady Yuna, giggled.

"We still have our Kara," Mother answered stonily and glared steely at the two gossipy women, "Kara is still Karan's child."

"Only males can be heirs, dearest Callia. Or are you changing the rules for your benefit now?" Lady Yuna taunted.

"Well, Callia has always cared for the money. She wishes it to stay with her family. It's her ambition. That same ambition which she used to kill her dear half sister, Lady Lyssa." Countess Ryuia calmly sipped her tea, acting oblivious to Mother's fuming.

I had just arrived and meant to announce myself to our guests when I overheard this conversation from the parlor. I suppose the best word to describe my reaction was complete utter shock.

"What?" I burst into the parlor to Mother and my aunts surprise.

"Kara! How many times have I told you that you must announce yourself before you enter any room…Your aunts were just here for…for…" Mother's eyes were wide and for the first time I saw true fear sparking behind her brilliant emerald eyes.

As for my aunts they smirked together and remained coolly silent. They were delighted that Mother was finally drowning underneath all her secrets. Finally the wicked little wench would pay for her ambitions upon their family.

"Lady Lyssa was your sister? Did you push her off the cliff?" I nearly screamed at her.

"No! No, no Kara! I would never push anybody! Please believe me!" Her face was stricken as she begged for my support. But I could not help her. I remembered her smiling that terrible night and I couldn't believe any plea that came from her pretty mouth.

I bowed respectfully to my aunts and angrily stalked out of the parlor. I smiled bitterly to myself as I left Mother to the vultures.

During my short stay, I refused to talk to Mother. For the first time in her life, she attempted to please me. She needed me and worked desperately to make me hear her pleas. And for the first time, I held the power over Mother. I ignored her and she became resigned. I saw her beauty and vitality fade slowly before my eyes and it pleased me secretly. She looked as if she were constantly in fear and guilt tarnished her usual sparkle. She was fading.

When carriage approached to take me away, I heard a horrific wail coming from the house. Curious and frightened, I ran towards the noise and realized it came from the garden by the cliff. I walked outside and found a maid crying hysterically.

Before I could even ask I could see Mother's slippers neatly placed at the edge of the cliff. She had jumped.

I do not know exactly what passed through my mind at moment of realization. I suppose it was disbelief. My mother, my _proud mother would never jump. My strong mother would never jump off that cliff. My beautiful, terrible mother could not jump._

_But she did. And I assumed that she had decided to follow Kail to his watery grave. I had lost yet another family member to that cliff and I was more alone then ever._


	8. Chapter 8 Party

Life was monotonous at the Academy. I suppose the only interesting conversation was the love lives of the royal princes, Luten and Zuko.

Luten was by far the better catch. He was the crown prince's only child and was bound to succeed his father as Fire Lord. The girls believed he was more charismatic and physically stronger than his younger cousin, Zuko.

Zuko was the spare's son. His father, Prince Ozai, would never be king and therefore Zuko was far more inconsequential than Luten. After all every girl wants to be a queen not a princess.

Because of my noble ranking, despite the scandals of my family, I was allowed into the exclusive clique created by Princess Azula, Zuko's cunning younger sister. She was not particularly pretty. Her ambitious gloating and devious sneer made her a very ugly girl. But she was smart and we were all only happy to oblige to her demands.

She took a particular interest in me. Azula said that I reminded her of herself. I wasn't sure whether that was a compliment or not. However, I took her friendship, it's always good to have a princess on your side.

During a particular celebration, the Royal Academy for Boys were invited to celebrate with us. That was when I finally met Prince Luten.

In my opinion, he was not particularly special. He was tall, handsome, and resembled his younger cousin greatly. However, while Prince Zuko had a kind light shining through his gold eyes, Prince Luten was stoic and detached. I hated those sorts of people…they reminded me of Mother.

Soon enough, we girls realized that this celebration was really a mask for a massive bridal auction. We girls were being observed and being chosen as the brides of the male students of the Royal Academy. Nothing was final of course, however that day was to affect us greatly in our near future.

Azula noticed rather disgustedly that her dear cousin was involved with a scholarship student. She snidely pointed out the lovely young girl who had hypnotic grey eyes. The seemed endless and pulled the viewer into them. She was the daughter of a low leveled governor and had managed to attend the Academy by sheer luck. She was not spectacular in any of her studies but people would say that she was kind and well mannered.

I scoffed at her nervous speech and wondered what Luten ever saw in her. Azula mentioned that their relationship would never last. A girl like her could never enter as a part of the royal family. I laughed and agreed. Girls like her never became a significant part of history. I didn't even bother to learn her name.

Meanwhile I relaxed. I did not need to worry about my marriage. I would have no say it anyways so I just hoped that Father would choose a respectable noble for me. The offers would come in a heavy flow, I was highly desired for my wealth, so all I would have to do was choose.

As I looked down at the party from a balcony, I laughed out loud to myself. All these people would never be happy and they weren't ready for it like I was. I almost felt pity for them. The pretty little girls smiled coquettishly at their handsome admirers and naively assumed that their lives would be a fairy tale.

With a heavy sigh, I smiled to myself and emptied my crystal glass before I threw it off the balcony. As I heard it shatter down below, I realized the younger prince smiling up at me with familiarity. I smiled back at him. I remembered how I had like him when I was younger. It was all a long time ago now though and as I looked up at the night sky with a content smile, I felt a wave of sadness wash over me. I hated parties.


	9. Chapter 9 Wedding

I was lounging by a serene pond reading a history of famous royal women when I heard Azula angrily storming towards my direction. She was furious, completely livid. She could barely speak.

"Whatever is the matter?" I calmly asked her, not really curious at all about the answer. Azula was always dissatisfied with something, so I was not surprised.

"That little bitch…the governor's daughter is marrying my brother!" she was hysterical. Azula paced up and down the tiled floor furiously.

I raised myself and became curious. I knew the girl she was mentioning. It was Prince Luten's object of affection, the lady with grey eyes. She was certainly not worthy of being even considered for Luten and she was still definitely unworthy of Zuko as well. I was curious as to who arranged this horrific arrangement.

"What Mother is thinking, I shall never understand! She must be insane! A commoner like her, Calantha, even her name sounds common. I shall not allow this marriage to take place! This is absolutely ridiculous! She will tarnish our family!" Azula spat furiously.

As Azula said those angry words, I was suddenly reminded of my mother. This was the humiliation my own mother probably faced. Her birth had never been celebrated like mine had been and Calantha's story was probably similar to Mother's as well. I had been born on expensive silken sheets, granted titles and magnificent treasures, while she was born humbly as all the commoners had been. This was the way we were different. The families we were born to defined us.

Then I became aware of what Azula had said. Princess Ursa had arranged this marriage to take place. She, a noble and royal princess, had planned a marriage between her only son and the commoner. I agreed with Azula that it was not a proper marriage but assumed that it was meant to appease the commoners and the rifts between them and us.

Still I was not happy. The handsome prince deserved someone far more respected and admired. Then I wondered how Prince Luten was taking this news. He probably knew that he would never be able to marry the girl but he must have been devastated when he heard the news nevertheless.

It was not long before a glamorous wedding took place. The lucky bride did not look so pleased with the predicament she had been placed in. Her handsome prince did not look quite so satisfied with his new bride as well. It was quite funny looking at their disgruntled expressions, it was more like a funeral rather than the expensive wedding it was.

Azula was livid that her angry words could not stop the marriage. Instead she decided to make the poor girl's life as miserable as the princess could possibly make it. And of course that meant starting right at that very moment.

Many jealous ladies of various levels of nobility flocked around us, eager to criticize the poor girl well within the protection of the royally born princess. We made it very clear to the upset bride that we were observing her and silently humiliating her. She looked towards our direction with wide, terrified eyes and her cheeks burned with shame. We only laughed harder.

The prince looked forlorn. His naturally pale pallor, associated with the royal and most noble families, had turn even paler. The poor boy looked as if he were about to faint. He looked towards my direction and his gold eyes twinkled. I gave him a sly smile and raised my glass, congratulating his marriage. He smiled back and motioned towards the dance floor. I considered this offer and agreed. He lit up considerably as his new bride wilted ever more.

Just as I was about to swirl onto the dance floor, a cold hand quickly jerked my wrist and I was pulled back. Furious at the fact that someone dared to touch me in such a manner, I angrily turned to face none other than Prince Luten.

"Lady Kara" his voice was cold and quiet.

"Your highness," I was startled, "I didn't know that you knew me."

"Oh, everyone is aware of the infamous duchess of Thalassa."

"Infamous?" I tried to give a fake laugh.

"Yes…your family is quite marred by scandal," he smiled condescendingly.

"Well, it is a pleasure meeting your acquaintance," I gritted my teeth.

"You think that you are greater than everybody," he stated coolly.

"Pardon?" I was shocked that he was speaking to me in such a tone.

"You are just as common as the lady over there," he insulted me.

"You mean your girlfriend?" I taunted back with a smirk of my own.

"My cousin's wife," he quickly glared, "Of course, your father has a spectacular lineage, ancient and noble, quite like my family's."

"But?" I prodded angrily. He may have been a prince but no one, absolutely no one, talked to me in that manner.

"But your mother is common, quite like Princess Calantha's."

"What are you trying to prove?"

"Nothing, I am just saying that it was nothing but luck that placed you in that position, Duchess," he smirked.

"Well, your highness, I suppose then that it was just luck that placed you in your position," I countered. His smirk disappeared and he came dangerously close to me. He glared down at me.

"If I were you I would watch my tongue, Duchess. You should know your place."

"Well, if you were brighter, you would know that no one talks to me like that, your highness."

"Hmm, people say that you're charming. I guess they don't know you very well."

"People say that you are handsome, I guess they don't know you very well either."

"I hope we meet again Duchess. Your conversation is absolutely stimulating," his voice dripped with sarcasm."

"I can't wait, until our next encounter, your highness," I mocked enthusiasm.

I was not sure what exactly had happened, but I knew that I hated Prince Luten. I was infuriated that he had compared me with that girl who had no title and was frankly a nobody. I assumed that he was trying to protect her from me but I didn't understand why he felt the need to do that. I was not interested in destroying her like Azula was. Of course, I looked down upon her but so did everyone else. Luten saw me as a threat…he saw what was to come before anyone else did.


	10. Chapter 10 Procession

The air was thick of heavy essences of magnolias and various roses. It was stifling and nauseating. The blood red transparent silk curtains billowed ever so slightly, their heavy gold embroidery glittering in the bright sunlight.

Heavily painted and powdered faces smirked behind expensively decorated fans. The deathly pale faces with heavy lidded eyes and bright red lips mirrored my own. Our snake like eyes, full of mystery and contempt, and our condescending smiles were all pointed towards one direction. Hers.

There must have been thousands of ladies at the Queen's Court that day. We had all been gathered to present ourselves before the new Princess. Her heavily powdered face blanched to an even whiter shade when she saw all the more elegant and noble ladies surrounding her with their discontent.

I was one of many that day. Just another noble woman, wealthier and far more sophisticated than she could ever hope to be. Besides me was the breathtakingly delicate Princess Seraphina and her more plain sister Princess Aithna of the Eastern Egan. Seraphina's pretty face scowled towards the new Princess's direction. Even the young Aithna shook her head in disapproval. At my other side was the ever popular Lady Nuria of the highly regarded Kyne family. Her pale patrician face was well guarded but I could sense her displeasure. It was widely rumored that she had an association with the newly married prince. The ever talkative Countess Orinda of the Keyes Islands. She made it very loudly clear that she was not going to accept the new princess. The exceptionally talented Lady Palma of Oron gave confused but disgusted expressions to her friend, the aristocratic Lady Adisha of the scandalized Zezin family. Lady Adisha quickly glanced over at the frightened new Princess and scoffed.

"I shall never understand what ever possessed Princess Ursa to choose her as Prince Zuko's wife! It should have been Nuria at the least," Countess Orinda gossiped quite loudly to Seraphina. The delicate girl only nodded as her scowl grew even deeper.

"She is insulting us! Are we not good enough for her son, while that little bitch is?" Lady Adisha whispered to Lady Palma and Lady Nuria.

"Lady Kara, are you not disappointed at the outcome as well?" Little Aithna asked me. I was taken aback. I disapproved of the match but I was certainly not disappointed. I had never hoped to be Zuko's princess.

"I disapprove of the match because of class reasons but I suppose it was a love match," I smiled innocently. I knew it could not possibly have been a love match but I pretended to not know anything. Pretending came with the job description of being a noble lady. It was something we were taught to do before we even learned to speak.

Aithna's face had not learned to keep control of the invisible mask we were meant to always wear. Her white powdered face looked shocked then curious.

"Were you not aware? His highness had asked Princess Ursa specifically for you. He had wanted to marry you, Lady Kara," she spoke in hushed tones.

My practiced face disappeared for a split second and I must have shown shock for Aithna looked even more curious.

"I was sure that you knew. It should have been Nuria for she adores him and they have been together for quite a while...well he moved between her and Lady Mai. Lady Mai is rather of a lower nobility than Nuria however, so it was likely to have been Nuria. But for some reason he wanted you. Well, you are very pretty and extremely wealthy, especially since you are the only heir to the famous dukedom..." the young girl continued to babble, trying to compliment me on my position.

I looked at Lady Nuria who looked curiously at me but she quickly turned to return insulting on the winner who sat upon her golden throne. I looked at the girl who looked ashamed. The hall bounced many of the whispers and she had likely heard many of the insults being hurled at her.

As I looked at her, Princess Ursa entered and her golden eyes looked at mine with a triumphant glint. It disappeared almost immediately and she looked kindly at my direction and gave me a private smile. The girl looked wide eyed to her graceful new mother in law and then her hypnotic grey eyes settled on my violent violet ones.

The procession began and Lady Nuria stood right next to me. Her pale face, with her lovely patrician features, smiled kindly at me. It was the smile that was reserved for the losers. It was a smile I had never recieved before, I never lost anything.

"At least the girl is somewhat pretty, right Lady Kara?" Lady Nuria's light eyes were brimming with tears. She had really loved the prince.

"Lady Nuria, it should have been you. It will be you. This is probably a huge mistake," I assured her kindly. Nuria shook her dark hair vigorously.

"No! Lady Kara, I...he does not feel the same way about me. At least not to my magnitude." Nuria looked down at her hands and spoke softly in defeat.

It came for my turn amd I put on the practiced smile I reserved for guests I didn't particularly like. I proceeded to an elegant curtsy when Princess Ursa warmly enveloped me in a hug.

"Calantha, this is my dear Duchess Kara of Thalassa, though she prefers to be called Lady Kara. Thalassa is the loveliest place in all of the world. Of course, Kara here was lucky enough to be raised in that beautiful sea palace. Perhaps next month we can go visit Thalassa. Would that be all right, Kara dear?" Princess Ursa smiled as she tried to create amiable relations between me and the new princess.

"Thalassa will be lovely next month. I am sure that you shall enjoy it. We would only be honored with your presence," I spoke in the smooth silky voice Mother had used to use when she talked to me.

Princess Ursa smiled widely and nodded. Calantha was eyeing me over and politely bobbed her head. I smiled and left the processional.

As I walked out to Princess Ursa's meticulously kept gardens I began to ponder what Aithna had said to me only a few moments before. If I was considered for Prince Zuko, I should have certainly been chosen. There was not one girl who came with better gifts than me. I was the most talented, the wealthiest, and the most admired. If Prince Zuko had wanted to marry me, Princess Ursa should have consented. However she broke the happy union of Prince Luten and that unbearably common Calantha. I should have known that something was strange from that point, however I just decided that Luten had arranged this ridiculous mess. I wanted him as a scapegoat to all the unusual happenings.


	11. Chapter 11 Exchange

Because the younger Zuko was already married, a massive search began for Luten's bride

Because the younger Zuko was already married, a massive search began for Luten's bride. His search was far more selective for his bride would be the future crown princess and ultimately Fire Lady.

All the most noble of noble ladies were required to remain at the inner circles of the Queen's Court where Fire Lady Ilah presided. Princess Ursa stood beside her as a replacement for Luten's dead mother.

I roamed through the women's quarters, bored at being sequestered here. I could not understand how Mother liked it so much here.

As I roamed about in the shade, I heard crying and found that it was Princess Calantha bawling in front of a prince. From the back, I could not tell which was which. The cousins looked so alike from a distance.

"Zuko, he hates me! He will not even enter the same room as me! He finds comfort in other women...all he thinks about is the flame haired lady."

"Calantha, please relax. I am sure my cousin will warm up in time."

"No! He says that he is dishonoring you by being with me! He says that he will find a way to end our marriage!"

"I shall speak to him, Calantha."

"I just don't understand why your aunt arranged this entire affair! I just don't understand the princess."

"I am sorry Calantha. I feel that it is all my fault. I should have asserted myself but things are rather rocky in my family right now…"

I turned away from them. I was sick of hearing that childish wench blabbering on. Still, I couldn't help but smile at the fact that she was unhappy. It's cruel that I'm happy at her misery but I can't help it. I was more pleased by the fact that Prince Luten was distressed as well. He could not stand watching his beloved unhappy, so he was going to harm his fragile relationship with his cousin even further.

I had heard how close those two had been in the recent past. They were like siblings. Zuko respected and honored his older cousin in great fervor. In turn, Luten adored him as his younger brother. The older would teach the younger everything he knew and there could not have been a closer bond between family members; especially in the royal family. However with the bridal exchange between the two, their relationship had rather soured. Luten did not mind or at least tried to appear that he did not care about the switch and truly wished the two the greatest happiness. Zuko however could not accept his marriage. The fact that he even went through with this terrible marriage dishonored him.

I did not really care at all about their family squabbles but I felt myself being pulled deeper into their family mess. I was somehow getting involved and I was not sure how everything would turn out.

I continued on my wandering and ended up inside the palace. I went out to the wide balcony overlooking the gardens. There I found Zuko wildly kissing a young woman just below my balcony. The young harlot giggled in pleasure and her clothing were loosely draped around her. As I saw him pushing her up against a tree, I turned quickly in shame. I had never seen intimate acts before and I felt ashamed at what I had just observed. As I turned to get my sketchbook from the ledge, I saw something which shocked me even greater. Next to the lady was a red wig, which had dropped to the ground. At my gasp, Zuko looked up and his golden eyes locked with my deep blue ones. He smiled, the light of familiarity shining across his pale face once again. Embarrassed I turned quickly and disappeared into the shadows once more.

In my hurry, I accidentally collided into Prince Luten and I fell to the ground. My sketchbook slid across the floor and my elbows felt hard and cold next to the marble floors. The prince quickly extended a hand and helped me up to my feet. He was smirking with humor and curiosity as he helped me up.

"Now, where were you off to in such a hurry, Duchess? I always heard that you were extremely poised," he asked coolly.

I shook my wrist free from his steel like grip and shook my red waves. I curtly bowed as a gesture of gratitude for his gentlemanly behavior and proceeded to look for my sketchbook when I saw the rumpled Prince Zuko smiling at me kindly holding my sketchbook. I felt my cheeks turning scarlet and I pursed my lips.

"Thank you," I replied quietly as I snatched my book from his extended hands.

As I turned I saw Luten looking at our exchange with narrowed eyes. My cheeks burned even more as I looked at his expression. He was assuming the worst between us. To make matters worse Zuko grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards him.

"Will you go on a walk with me, Lady Kara?" he asked softly looking down at me with his golden eyes.

I was about to decline his offer when I felt cold, slender fingers clasping around my other wrist.

"I'm sorry Zuko, I am afraid I already asked the duchess to accompany me in another matter," his voice was cold and smooth like ice. His fingers tightened around my wrist.

Zuko looked at my downcast face and his revered cousin's chillingly calm visage. His warm touch slowly disappeared as he let go of my wrist. His smile tightened as he forced a cheerful smile and gave a curt bow.

"Well, then I suppose we shall have to walk another time, Lady Kara. I shall see you later tonight Cousin."

I looked at his downtrodden figure and I almost went towards him but Luten sharply dragged me beside him. He roughly placed my own slender arm on his and lead me away from the younger prince. I turned back and gave him a small smile, assuring him that it was all right. He nodded and left.

Luten walked with my arm securely placed on him for a long time before he even began to speak.

"Duchess…I never liked you. Even when others praised you for your many virtues, I never understood why."

"Did you bring me here just to insult me? What, no threats this time?"

He smiled bitterly and glared down at me with his angry gold eyes.

"If I were you Duchess, I would respect myself and act with more dignity. It is rather sad seeing you flirt and grovel cheaply like those other young ladies."

"Grovel? I never grovel. It is not my fault that men are attracted to me, is it? Or are you going to criticize me for having these natural gifts as well?"

He scoffed and scowled distastefully.

"Well, either you are the your followers must be delusional."

"Pardon?"

"Proper young ladies do not act like you do. You are praised far beyond what you truly deserve. You are about as common as a scullery maid."

He smiled triumphantly as I fell silent. We had arrived at the heavily decorated floral arch which led to the women's quarters. The flowers were in full bloom, dripping with their blossoms. With a condescending nod, he turned his back and was walking away.

"Well, I never liked you either!" I shouted impulsively. He had insulted me in almost every manner and I had lost my composure. Before he could turn around to say another smart comment, I turned and ran past the floral arch.

I rushed past the majestically grown rose gardens and the crystal laden fountains. The babbling streams and the serene pond briefly showed my disappearing reflection. I pushed past the groves of the cherry trees, their branches cascading fountains of lovely fragrant pink blossoms.

I kept running. I ran past sun deprived, heavy lidded ladies, their garishly painted faces only slightly curious. I saw the calm Lady Nuria looking worried, but I brushed past her without saying a word. I felt something bubbling up inside me, something I had not done in years.

I finally reached my suite and kept running until I locked myself in my dark resting room. I hardly used mine though many other ladies frequented theirs quite often to rest and preserve their pale complexions. My sudden outburst frightened my maids and they knocked worriedly. I begged them to leave me alone and with shock they returned to their chores throughout my suite.

In the dark, I slid to the floor and tears overcame me. As they flooded down my face, I realized I had not cried since Kail had died that cold winter day. I don't know why but I felt so alone once again. But for the first time, it terrified me and I didn't even know why."


	12. Chapter 12 Proposal

Because the younger Zuko was already married, a massive search began for Luten's bride

I was called to meet Princess Ursa early one morning. I was not feeling well…I had not been feeling well for a week. My fear of being alone had come upon me once more and I felt sick. Still there is no rejecting of a royal princess's invitation and I forced myself to go.

I arrived in the Princess's hall and entered her pale lilac parlor. The princess was sipping tea while viewing elegant fashions for the ball that was being held tomorrow night. She lifted her head and smiled elegantly when she became aware of my presence.

"Darling Kara! I am so glad to see you my dear. Are you feeling ill, you look pale."

"I am all right, your highness. May I ask what I was called here for?"

"Oh darling," she was beaming, "I have the most wonderful news."

I felt a sinking sensation and I wanted to dart out of there before I would have to hear it.

"You have been chosen to be Luten's bride!" she exclaimed with delight and was looking at me expectantly. When I didn't jump up and down with exuberant joy, she came and sat next to me.

"You seem less then pleased my dear. Every other young lady would have died to be in your position. You will be the next crown princess, are you not pleased."

"Let some other lady take this honor. I would rather not have it."

"You cannot refuse. Why are you refusing?"

"I know how coveted this position is and I am honored that I was considered but…well, Prince Luten and I…he hates me and I hate him. I don't think that it is a very good basis for a marriage."

"Not everyone likes one another when they are married…"

"I cannot marry someone knowing that they love someone else!"

Princess Ursa looked at me with her glittering amber eyes and lowered them with sadness.

"My son did. He married knowing that his bride loved someone else. They are fine now."

"I can't do the same thing. You cannot ask me to do that favor. You know better than anyone how I used to live. You know how I had to suffer with someone who did not care for me…you know how Mother was. You cannot ask me to put myself in a similar position again," my voice quavered as I felt my vision blurry.

"I know your life has been miserable, Kara dear…"

"And I don't want to be miserable! You must choose someone else. I cannot marry him…he doesn't even love me!" I pleaded with her. She was steadfast however.

"You know Kara dear that marriage has nothing to do with love. You must accept him tomorrow at the ball. We shall finally be a family, dear. We shall be so happy, I know it."

She smiled and embraced me and I felt every feeling disappearing from my body. I was trapped and I could not escape.

The next thing I knew I was covered in a cloud of white dust. I opened my eyes and I saw a very pitiful girl; it was my reflection. Maids were all around me, fastening my flame colored waves with various jewels in a rainbow of colors. As they painted my lips scarlet red, I saw the mask in my reflection. The mask of perfection, of obedience, of solitude. The girl who stared back at me had no expression, no emotion, no future. All I saw was a pale face framed by scarlet hair and silk.

As I was being finished made up, Ayanna brought me a surprise. In her hands was a phoenix decorated golden casket. Before I could ask what it was, she opened it to reveal a deep burgundy velvet plush delicately embracing a large sapphire blue diamond. It was cut in a teardrop, resembling my previously shed tears.

"A gift for the new crown princess, my lady. Fire Lady Ilah specifically asked that you wear it tonight."

I lifted it from it's home and held it against my snowy neck. Looking at my reflection, I saw how it stood out among the ocean of scarlet I was wearing. I didn't like it. I had always hated large pieces of jewelry like this and this diamond was no exception. It was a symbol of my misery and I was being forced to parade it in front of the millions of spectators.

The maids came towards me to clasp it around my neck but I placed it on my hair instead. I would wear it as a crown instead if I was being forced to carry it. As the maids clasped it on, I felt a tear slide down my pale cheek.

As I awaited my announcement, I stood imaging different paths of escape. I could just run away but they would always find me. Of course, I could feign sickness but it would only temporarily push the engagement. Then again, there was always the ever popular method used significantly in my family. All I would have to do was consciously jump off the cliff by myself this time.

It was the Ball de Soleil, the largest most extravagant party of the year for the Court. Everything was dripping with gold. The ball was literally like the sun, the element all firebenders wished to emulate. The brightness felt very familiar yet repulsed me at the same time. I was sick of this overbearing opulence.

The younger prince saw me and immediately beamed as he walked towards me. He bowed politely and grabbed my arm, leading me to the dance floor. I smiled as well, he was so terribly kind. The music started and we started to glide. We spun faster and faster, around and around. I laughed out loud. It was exhilarating just twirling round and round. I felt as if I were flying. The prince smiled broadly as well as we went faster and faster. The rest of the party dissolved and it was just us, dancing round and round. But everything has an end and the music stopped. We slowed to a stop and I smiled as I thanked him for the dance.

"It was nice just having fun, wasn't it?" Zuko whispered in my ear, the heat from his breath warmed the nape of my neck.

"It was wonderful. Thank you," I smiled back.

Just then, I felt that familiar ice cold hand clasping my wrist. I turned and I already knew who it was. The older prince gave a stiff smile to his younger cousin and led me away. Another music piece started and we started to dance. I knew what was to come immediately after and I felt despair wash over my happiness once more. My heart was sullen and my pale face reflected it as well.

"Try to smile, Duchess. You will upset the guests," he spoke in a tired voice. He was sick of me already.

"I shall do as I please," I replied impudently.

I felt the music coming to a stop and he was going to warn me for the last time. I felt my heart drop to the pit of my stomach. I felt like retching.

"The whole world is watching us. Remember that," that was his last whisper before the music came to an end.

We stopped spinning but I felt the world spinning around me as if I were about to faint. He placed a well practiced smile on his face and lowered himself on one knee. He blew on his fingers and a burst of a scarlet flame grew then disappeared to reveal a delicate red diamond roughly cut ring. It glittered ever more brightly than the gold which surrounded us. His gold eyes glinted with anger and frustration but his pale face smiled with brilliant tenderness.

"My Duchess, Lady Kara, will you accept this ring and be my princess?" he spoke theatrically, overly dramatic for the show we were acting in. Everyone hushed and waited for my answer.

I felt the thousands of eyes looking, waiting anxiously for my reply. I looked down at the jagged and beautiful ring then I saw the prince who was extending it out to me. I felt like running out of that room but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Princess Ursa nodding encouragingly. Not too far away I saw the younger prince looking horrified. His little wife covered her gaping mouth with her pale lily like hands. I saw Azula looking confused and concerned. Princess Seraphina looked humiliated and Lady Nuria looked exhilarated. Everyone was waiting and I couldn't breathe.

I extended my hand and placed a smile on my face. I was about to make the greatest mistake of my life and I had to do it with a smile. As I took the ring, I saw the rest of my life disappearing in front of my eyes and I knew that I was never going to be happy again. I still went forward however and accepted his hand.

"I would be honored to be your wife and princess, your highness," I spoke softly with a slight tinge of despair.

There was a burst of applause and everyone started to congratulate us. Luten stood up and placed the ring on my finger then he encircled his arm around my waist. I could still feel his chilling cold through the layered red silk which billowed around me. He smiled kindly as he proudly exhibited me as his new bride.

As I felt his cold lips gently touch me on my pale powdered cheek, I felt all the feeling rushing out of me. I felt cold and terrified. I had entered myself willingly to a life of unhappiness. I was doomed to this fate.


	13. Chapter 13 Marriage

Because the younger Zuko was already married, a massive search began for Luten's bride

_Sorry for the typos on the last two chapters…thanks for the reviews._

When I opened my eyes, I was caught in a flurry of white. As I focused, I saw my sad reflection yet again. The past months had passed by and I could hardly remember anything that occurred. The last moment clearly etched in my mind was the proposal. Now it was the wedding. It all came so soon.

Princess Ursa would guide me through all the duties of a princess and would encourage a relationship between me and Calantha. The meek girl would just stare at me with her hypnotic grey eyes during the entire session and I chose to ignore her, much to Princess Ursa's dismay. Nothing registered however. Everything was like a terrifying dream; no it was more of a nightmare.

It was winter and snow fell lightly outside. The cherry blossoms had miraculously bloomed and were dripping with their sweet blossoms. The light pink blossoms fell like curtains upon the white snow. I sighed as I saw those flowers, the symbol of the royal family. They were an odd choice as a symbol for they reflected the transience of life. One would assume that the family would rather prefer some other flower representing everlasting power and life.

My face was ever more heavily painted and I felt like a stranger. My eyelids were darkened with black kohl-like paint. They made my violet eyes looked larger and more terrified than ever before. As they finished powdering my white face even whiter, the maids fastened teardrop pearls on my ears, the chosen symbol for the crown princess. Luten's mother had been the previous owner before she had deceased and Fire Lady Ilah had worn them in her younger years. Now I was to wear the burden until it came for my turn to pass them on to a younger lady.

The pearls were luminous, the bright firelight danced on their ivory surface. The distinct teardrop shape matched my own tears. I fingered the pearl with my shaking fingers. They had first been worn many centuries ago. A beautiful young princess had been sent from the Earth kingdom to marry the heir to the Fire Nation throne. She had not particularly wished to leave her home but she was sent anyways. They said that she was the first royal to have the distinctive golden eyes associated with the royal family today. She was highly admired for her great beauty but the heir did not love her. He sought company in other women and the princess had to suffer the humiliation without tears. However to express her sorrows, she fashioned two large perfect pearls into matching teardrop shapes. She wore the earrings prominently in front of the whole court to show the tears she shed privately. It forever became the crown princess's symbol after her heartbreaking display. Even though there had been love matches in the past, every crown princess donned Crown Princess Aria's teardrop pearls in her honor. At this moment, I was meant to honor her and wear them for a long time to come.

I rose and gathered my deep red silk veil to cover my pale face. I could still see the shadows of my visage through the reflection and I placed a practiced smile upon it. Silently I walked outside to my wedding.

I was glad that my veil was heavy. It covered the tears which were beginning to pool around the corners of my eyes. Through the bejeweled veil I could see that everyone was watching me. They all held their breath as I floated to the end of the path where Luten waited dressed in ebony and scarlet. His dark hair had been pulled back to expose his pale face. As he took my arm, I saw how similar he looked to Zuko. They could have been twins if Zuko had been a little taller and if Luten knew how to smile.

There were bouquets of the blue Kara roses, which had been shipped for the ceremony. Their heavy fragrance comforted me but made me even more terrified. I was scared more than ever. I raised my eyes and I saw the pink blossoms drifting off and falling in light showers, covering my veil. The pink petals fell on Luten's hair and face softening his harsh expression. He looked up and laughed as he saw a basketful of the pink petals drop on top of him. I heard the women sigh in appreciation and I assumed that it was dazzling effect.

On cue, Luten turned to me and I knelt on my knees. As he picked the edge of my veil, I sighed deeply and swallowed my tears as I winced. He threw off the veil and the red silk flew raising the pink petals which had settled on it to shower me with its lovely fragrance. I swallowed painfully as he raised a golden starburst tiara and placed it upon my red waves. Applause ensued and Luten helped me rise.

"Smile, for god's sake. You are at your wedding not your funeral," he hissed through his bright, false smile.

I closed my eyes once more. I felt dizzy as if the room were spinning and I breathed in deeply. He was right. Everyone was watching us. The whole world looked to us and I had to smile. This was an elaborate show and I, the star performer. I opened my eyes and gave a dazzling smile. I laughed and gave tears of joy as I embraced my new husband. It was the best performance of my life.

Everyone clapped and I heard bells ringing for our celebration. Everyone was excited but the bride and groom. Nonetheless, we both looked wonderful. We pretended to be the happiest, the most beautiful and admired couple in the world.

All throughout that day, that week of celebration, Luten and I gave such a believable performance, many believed us to be a love match. Especially because of the great war that was occurring outside the safety of our golden walls, the citizens of our nation wished to believe that our marriage was because of love. Our union assured the citizens of peaceful times that were to come. We were the symbol of glory and perfection…we couldn't let them down.

As I sat beside Luten and drank the fountains of champagne in our crystal flutes, I noticed the younger prince despondently drinking from his glass. Calantha sat quietly beside him, looking meek and sad as usual. Luten caught me looking at their direction and with a sigh he pecked my cheek to remind me of our spectators. I turned to him with a smile and laughed gaily.

Different nobles came to congratulate us and I had to gift them with a smile. Lady Adisha bowed with a tight smile as did Princess Seraphina and Aithna.

"We never knew that your highness was interested in our Lady Kara. It must have been a quick romance," Countess Orinda sneered through a fake smile.

"Well, Kara has so many virtues, all she needed to do was smile at Luten. Unlike some others, Lady Kara is very desirable, Countess Orinda," Azula smiled mockingly towards the upset Orinda.

Luten's face turned sour as he saw his young cousin approach us. I however was glad to see me old friend again. She had not been too pleased to hear that I was marrying her hated cousin but she was excited as her mother had been with my joining of their family. I gave her a smile of gratitude when I saw my aunts approach me.

"Our darling Kara is a Princess of the Royal family! We have come to congratulate you and wish you a blissful marriage. Your father would have been proud of you. The Grand Duke is currently at the field but he sends you these gifts for your wedding," Countess Ryuia, Father's aunt replied coolly as she exhibited the grand presents Father had sent me.

"He has also announced you as his heir…to the entire dukedom and the family fortune. He sends you his love and welcomes your highness to the family," Lady Yuna, Father's cousin, spoke through her perfect teeth. She smiled graciously at Luten however.

Luten smiled at my family and thanked them profusely. His dramatics won their favor and they became less hostile. I scoffed silently to myself as I saw their interactions. He had managed to gain the favor of the vultures; I was impressed.

The party ended and it came time for the event I had feared the most. I was led away by my maids and I was thoroughly cleaned. All the paint on my face was washed off and my red waves were loosened to billow about me in a similar manner as my silk robe. As they maids brushed my long hair, I felt like retching. I felt a feeling a dread wash over me and I felt uncertain. I was not aware of what was to occur and it frightened me.

Too soon, I was pushed into a chamber I had never seen before. It was dark except for the few candles which flickered too frequently. Nervously, I pushed back the sheer dark silk curtains and entered the main bed chamber. There was one bed flooded with the blue rose petals from my home. I smiled at the familiar object and touched the deep blue petals. I heard footsteps and quickly took out my sharp blade which I concealed in my shoes. There was a sound of mocking laughter and I tensed even more.

"What are you doing here? This is my chamber!" I extended my blade and it glittered against the flickering lights.

"This is my chamber as well tonight, Duchess," he spoke wryly. With a tired sigh he sank into the bed.

"Well, where are you going to sleep then?" I still had the knife in my hand though I had relaxed a bit.

He looked at me with curiosity then he laughed with realization. Luten walked towards my direction and I cowered slightly to his delight. He grabbed my arm and placed me on the bed.

"You'll be sleeping here. Don't look so surprised. I promise it shall be only one night. After this, I shan't ever bother you again, Duchess. I promise," he spoke quietly and looked sincere for the first time.

I nodded with understanding and gathered myself in one corner to sleep when he laughed and grabbed me roughly.

"We're not done yet," he spat with disgust, "trust me, I'm not glad about this either."

I was confused when he pinned me on the bed. I struggled and screamed at him to move but he didn't budge. In a swift bored motion, he lifted my skirt and I felt his long cold fingers on my thighs.

"Get off me! What are you doing?" Just as I slapped him for touching me, I realized what we were supposed to do. I rolled my eyes and sighed.

"Do you know now?" he spoke angrily as he rubbed his jaw. I nodded reluctantly and laid still.

I cringed as I felt his skin on mine. He undressed and I closed my eyes tightly shut. Silently he spread my legs further apart and laid on top of me. His cold skin made me shiver and I felt like vomiting. I bit my lower lip as I tried to breathe evenly. His fingers enclosed my thin waist and I held my breathe.

"This will hurt," he whispered and I stopped breathing.

I felt something painful enter the lower part of my body and then there was a surge of immense pain. I cried out as I jerked up. The pain didn't go away however and it progressively got worse as he pushed up against me. My fingers curled up into fists and I sucked in my breath. I started to cry uncontrollably and he held me. Holding on to his arms, I bawled in pain against his chest.

"That was it. It won't hurt anymore," he whispered in my ear as he patted my back.

We were at opposite ends of the bed and their was a heavy silence in the air. When I could raise myself up, I saw a blooming scarlet stain on the snowy white sheets. My lower area hurt terribly and my pale thighs were smeared with the same scarlet stain. I plopped back to the bed with exhaustion.

"Does it always hurt?" I asked him. I had never been taught on matters such as these. Noble girls were sheltered from these very facts and we were taught everything under the sun except important matters on intimacy. I was embarrassed but I wished to know.

He looked at me with a raised brow. His pale face considered the question then with a small smile, he shook his head no.

"Others do it quite often don't they? I cannot understand why…" I muttered more to myself than to him.

"You start to enjoy it after the pain. It becomes pleasurable," he sighed softly.

"You don't feel the pain do you?" I looked at his golden eyes with curiosity.

He stretched out and placed his hands under his head. Then he turned to me and with a playful smirk he shook no.

"It is the pain only women must endure. Like your bleedings and childbirth. It is the curse of women," he spoke gratefully.

"Yes, the curse of women…" I muttered as I finally understood the full meaning of those words.

I turned my head and dimmed the candles till they finally disappeared, leaving the darkness and silence. As I laid in that unnerving quiet, I realized finally that I was married.


	14. Chapter 14 Theatre

The heading on the last few chapters is a typo

The heading on the last few chapters is a typo.

The first weeks were the hardest. It was terrible, for as newlyweds Luten and I had to be together constantly. Parties, dinners, meetings…they were endless. Worst of all, I had to pretend that I was the happiest girl in the world all the while.

I no longer resided in the privately sequestered halls in the women's quarters. With the absence of the current Crown Prince, Luten's father, we were granted the original halls of Luten's parents. The Crown Rooms was a palace specifically created for the crown prince and princess. I now resided in the Hall of the Peacock which was adjacent to Luten's Hall of the Tiger, both which were located in the east of the Crown Rooms.

Though we mostly kept to our respective suites and halls, Luten and I were required to share breakfast every morning. The awkward silence made it difficult to hold down the meals and I rarely ate in these mornings.

We sat across one another on a long dark table barely speaking to one another. He always multitasked during our time together. He would bring scrolls of various important matters and letters, continually occupying his attention elsewhere. While I couldn't eat a bite, he seemed to have no problem. Efficiently and effortlessly, my husband ate the various delicacies which were laid out before us while attending to the matters of the state.

"I see you have a lot of work today," I quietly started as I stirred the light soup continuously. I looked across the table cautiously as I waited for a response.

"Yes. I am quite busy with war meetings today. I am afraid that I will have to cancel our opera date tonight," he replied curtly without even looking up from his scrolls.

"I understand. I suppose we shall just have to extend the engagement," I quickly responded as I tried to think of a new agenda. It was a relatively quiet week at the palace and I had been excited for the opera to create a distraction.

"Take someone else with you tonight. Perhaps one of your lady friends. I heard you were looking forward to the show tonight," he looked up with a tired expression then returned to looking at his papers.

"Yes, I had. I suppose I shall go then. I heard it was quite a show. Perhaps I shall tell you about it tomorrow," I sighed and just continued stirring. He looked up to see the racket I was creating.

"Yes, perhaps," he replied then stood up abruptly, "I shall be leaving now. No, don't get up. Have the rest of your breakfast."

I sighed then gave him a pleasant smile.

"Dear," he nodded to me then left. His butler trailed behind him with a tray of scrolls.

I sat for awhile listlessly then with a heavy sigh, I rose. The piles of intricate delicacies laid almost untouched. Brightly lit with the morning sunlight, the heaps of food wasting away reminded me of the luxuries of our privileged lives.

I walked to the south side of the Crown Rooms where Princess Ursa and Prince Ozai resided. They were supposed to reside in the Jewel Rooms, where other royal princes and princesses resided. However, Princess Ursa's significant social status, because of the tragically shortened life of the currently deceased Crown Princess, allowed her the special rooms within the Crown Rooms.

She sat in an ebony gown, glimmering with smooth satin shine. Beside her was Calantha in a silk slate gown; the color matched her hypnotic eyes. They both looked at me as I entered and as I approached them, Calantha stood up to respect my higher rank. She looked bitter however, at the very fact that she had to acknowledge me. I did my best to ignore her and smiled at Princess Ursa pleasantly. She in turn smiled excitedly and rose to lead us to her garden.

As we followed the princess into her gardens, Calantha and I trailed a few steps behind her under the safe netting of the shade. Princess Ursa did not care about the sun tanning and burning her pale complexion. She was so extremely excited to show us the first blossoms of her blue violets that she ran ahead of the large parasols the maids supported behind us. I looked across, through the delicate silk netting which further shaded us from the bright sunlight, to see Calantha nervously fiddling her fingers as we walked. As soon as she saw my gaze, she dropped her fiddling fingers in a start.

"Something troubling your mind? You seem nervous," I inquired with a sidelong glance.

"No…no. It is just that spring is coming and I am excited," she hurriedly answered then looked up at me with her grey eyes.

I smiled at her doubtfully. Something was bothering her and I wondered what it was. However, Princess Ursa called out to us and we hurried to her side.

"Oh, look at the blossoms. Aren't they beautiful?" she nearly exclaimed with delight. Without a care about staining her expensive gown, she dropped to the dirt and shifted the earth carefully to support her flowers.

I sighed and rolled my eyes at her heavy display of emotion. I did not understand, no I couldn't understand why she cared so deeply about these flowers. While I scowled with impatience, Calantha smiled in pleasure. She was just as emotional at these blossoms as well.

"They are not even expensive flowers," I commented as I gave an impatient sigh, "you can find these flowers on the streets even. They are common…I don't see why you are so attached to them."

Princess Ursa turned to me with alarming speed and she looked at me coldly. She took a deep breath then looked up at me with kind eyes. Fingering her blue violets, she turned to them ignoring me.

"Even common flowers can be beautiful, Kara. Not all have to be like the blue Kara rose. Just because it is rare and exotically beautiful and immensely valuable does not mean that it is the only flower worthy of being admired. Even plain…average, ordinary flowers like these blue violets deserve love and attention. They have every right to belong in this garden even if they stand pale next to the magnificent Kara rose. You must understand this Kara…" her voice of quiet ferocity and she spun with great alacrity once again, facing me very close.

My own face tightened and I drew my scowl into a thin line. I wished to correct her for she was sorely mistaken. Only items worthy of being admired should be considered beautiful; this is a universal truth. Besides, the Kara rose could never be in the same garden as the blue violets for they are far too fickle. The blue roses only grew under great care in the cliffsides of Thalassa, this was the true reason to its value. Though I greatly wished to impudently remind her of these facts, I kept these comments to myself, only barely managing a tight lipped smiled.

The garden viewing, being a disaster, was cut short and I angrily stormed off to the meticulously manicured lily garden. As I slumped over a low wooden bridge, I let out a deep sigh. I hated gardening, I never had any aptitude for it and I was getting no better at it now. Sewing and embroidering never interested me before and it still was a bore. Flower arranging, small talk, and the other proper tedious duties of a princess bored me immensely. This everlasting, irritating cycle of teas and flirtatious games increasingly became unbearable as well as infuriating.

Looking down at the serene pond, I could see my pale reflection. The startling red wavy locks were still there as well as the violet eyes but I felt like I was staring at someone else. The stranger forever held an icy, grim expression and her snowy face was painted deathly pale. My face was increasingly becoming more and more like the ubiquitous perfect mask favored by the court. The heavy lids resembling sleepy eyes, the brightly painted lips, and the tired yet cunning glint in the eyes was becoming a staple of my expressions. To my horror, I realized that this was how my own mother looked those recent years ago.

I wished to just dive into my own hateful expression and forever stay under the watery grey grave. I wondered how easy it would be and I felt myself leaning over. As I leaned ever more precariously over the low bridge, someone grabbed my wrist and pulled me back abruptly.

"Your reflection is so lovely…it's tempting isn't it?" the soft kind voice held a tinge of sadness. I turned to see the warm golden eyes of the younger prince and felt all my blood rushing to flood my face. With embarrassment, I turned away.

"It's alright. Reflections are very curious aren't they? They show us things we cannot see for ourselves, and once you see it you can understand so much. I suppose that is why Narcissus wished to just view his reflection for eternity. Although, I heard that it was because of his vanity…isn't that funny? I always believed that women were far more vain but it is always the men who are punished for vanity," he laughed out loud. What he had said was not particularly funny but his laughter made me smile. It rang like a rich string of sleigh bells. Joyous and truly merry, his laughter reminded me of Kail's…when Kail had still laughed.

We continued to walk and talk. He talked most of the time and I mostly listened but it was relieving to the both of us. I felt myself softening and it made me happy. Talking to him made me forget everything in my life and I only thought of that very moment. It was an exhilarating feeling and seeing his exuberant laughter, I assumed that he felt the same.

"Perhaps you would like to accompany me to the opera tonight? Or are you taking your wife?" I stopped abruptly and looked up into his kind gold eyes.

"I would be delighted to go with you. Calantha does not care much for the theatre," he looked taken aback but glad at my offer.

"I shall see you tonight then," I nodded and smiled. Leaving him, I felt glad that I finally had a true friend in this dark palace.

As I walked back to my rooms with a trail of maids following closely behind me, I stopped abruptly to notice something across the short bridge which connected the different gardens. Ayanna looked quickly and walked in front of me to block my view. It was too late however, I already saw everything.

"Your highness, it is quite cold out. Princess, we must return inside…" she hesitantly spoke.

I pushed her aside and I felt anger bubbling up inside the pit of my stomach. In frustration, my hands started to clench tightly and I bit my lower lip trying to contain my fury. I tried to stop myself from shaking and after being humiliated, I stalked back to my suite.

I stiffly sat in my magnolia parlor, unable to stop shaking in fury. Walking by I had seen my husband tenderly embracing Calantha in the safety of the willowy cherry trees. He could not bear my presence and ignored every singly cordial attempt I had difficultly made, yet he could stand to be with that common girl. My hands shook so severely, I spilled my soft peach tea cup, staining the light lawn table cloth.

A tear rolled down my pale cheek and I angrily rose to dress for my evening engagement. I was not going to let him upset me on my theatre night.

Actors in masks decorated the stage prancing and dancing across the exotically ornate stage. Lovely ladies with blood red lips and slick ebony hair would gently brush across the glittering gold filigree across their alabaster faces. Their coy interactions and flirtations with the pining male counterparts made me smile. It was like watching the court in a more exaggerated romantic setting. Watching this elaborate display was almost humorous and I couldn't help but laugh.

The young prince beside me smiled at my amusement and laughed as well. We both looked at the dazzling play and enjoyed it greatly.

"Am I right to assume that you enjoyed it?" he asked with his warm smile. He looked very dapper that night unlike his usual mussed self. His dark ebony collar stood stiff and pressed.

"I did…I enjoyed it very much. Thank you for accompanying me," I replied softly back with a smile as well.

I was right by my suite when he did something rather unexpected. As I was about to exit from the palanquin, I felt a hand on my arm and with a sudden force I was pulled back in. A warm breath was near and I felt soft lips press up against mine. Startled I pushed away and stared at the younger prince with wide eyes.

"I'm sorry," he replied but I saw the bright flash of his smile. With that quick exchange he disappeared into the darkness and I was left alone to contemplate that thought by myself.


	15. Chapter 15 Dinner

The heading on the last few chapters is a typo

The heading on the last few chapters is a typo.

The next morning I had breakfast with Luten once again. Yet again there was a still silence hanging thickly in the air but something was different that day. He was looking at me instead of his scrolls.

"Is there something on my face?" I tried to pleasantly smile at him. He ignored it and remained rather angry.

"No…no. You never eat, how can there be anything on your face?" he spoke bitterly.

"Well, then what is wrong? You have been boring a hole in my face all morning," I snapped back with a trying smile.

"Why? Can't I look at my wife whenever I wish? Must I ask you first?" he mocked me with an evil smirk.

"Why are you being so rude to me? Do you enjoy making my life miserable?" I flung my spoon across the room, right above his head.

He looked slightly taken aback at my volatile reaction and quietly stood up. I glared at him as he strode over to my side.

"Control your actions, Duchess. You are only embarrassing yourself," he almost whispered in my ear then started to exit the room.

"How can you be so hypocritical? Why don't you ever try to control your actions!" I hollered at his back.

"Pardon? I don't act like a child. I don't covet other's possessions," he looked disgusted and horrified.

"Why would I ever need to covet the possessions of others? I already have everything! I have everything…even things I don't want. What could possibly make my life better?" I slumped with despair.

"Leave my cousin alone," he sneered and turned to finally leave when he faced once more, "We shall be having dinner with the Fire Lord and Fire Lady."

After he left, I rose and tossed all the plates, shattering them. I spilled the syrups and juices, staining all the pale fabric. Hearing the shattering dishes was relieving and embracing. I sat on the carpet in a sour mood.

He saw us last night. Luten had seen everything and it angered him. I was greatly embarrassed at being caught in that rather situation. It was not I who instigated that short kiss. Still, my cheeks flamed at the fact that my husband knew. Then I remembered his exchange with Calantha. He himself had been far more unfaithful and yet I was the only one being criticized.

Leaving the mess for the maids, I left with my sketchbook to the Fire Lady Ilah's rose garden. As I sat faintly drawing the great numbers of young ladies with extravagant parasols in a variety of colors, a breeze blew wildly, sending my billowy chiffon skirt flying in the wind. As my loose red waves flew into my eyes, I felt a gentle hand smoothly swipe it off my face.

"Why are you here all by yourself, Princess? Windy days like this should be spent in the comforting warm arms of others," Zuko spoke with gentle earnest.

I looked up at his smooth snowy face, which resembled very much of my own. Looking this closely at his beautiful face, I felt as if I were looking in a mirror. Our coloring was different certainly but his delicate features were so close to mine, I could have sworn that we were related. I resembled Zuko a million times more than I ever resembled my beautiful brother Kail.

I smiled up at him, the sun was behind him and gave him a halo like glow. His kindness and flirtatious attention made me worried but relieved at the same time.

"Whose arms should I run too? My husband's? Or perhaps yours?" I smiled teasingly at him and he laughed out loud as he extended an arm.

"Cousin, won't mind. At least, he seems far too preoccupied to even notice us," he joked then turned terribly somber after seeing my reflection.

"You're right. He never notices me…actually, he doesn't care for me, really. You're right," I heard my voice cracking and I looked down at my hands.

"I can't understand why, Kara. I spent so many nights, looking into the darkness, pondering what ever possessed Mother and Grandmother to arrange these disastrous marriages," he looked vacantly into the distance.

"I suppose that it has something to do with the inheritance. My inheritance…my great inheritance would be quite a dowry and a wonderful addition to your Cousin's inheritance. I had always known that I would be forced into an arranged marriage but I had still dreamt of a blissful union," I drifted off with a sad smile.

"Is Cousin truly that cruel? I can't imagine why…I would have been honored to have you as a bride," he smiled cheekily.

I laughed and wondered if I would truly have been happier with the younger prince. I could not dwell on that thought for very long for I had to excuse myself for the dinner engagement.

o…………………………………………………………………..

Calantha watched her maids powder her beige skin pale and wondered how she was to greet her husband that night. They would have to dine together for the rest of the family were having a dinner party together.

She smiled to herself as she thought of the painting she had received from Luten. Though they could not be together, she still had a friend in her previous lover. She sighed sullenly as she wondered how long it would be before her husband would warm up to her. Her grey eyes stood listlessly in her reflection. She loved Luten still, their affair had ended too recently for her to be completely through with him, however she felt a longing for her young handsome husband. He was a gentler creature, more like a child and looking at his childish nuances made her happy.

When she heard the soft irritated voice of her husband, she waved her maids away and sat demurely waiting for him to enter.

Zuko hated these monthly rituals. Every month, when the nuns deemed it fit, Zuko had to lie with his mousy little wife. He felt that these nights were rather barbaric. It was a custom to ensure progeny but it felt so forced, he dreaded it more than he would have if it was not required.

Calantha waited till he had doused himself with enough alcohol to dull his senses then approached him. He muttered drunkenly to himself and slowly cooperated with her efforts. She kissed his soft pink lips and gently wrapped her short legs around his long torso. She loosened her gown and nuzzled her body up against his bare warm chest. As he grabbed her waist and kissed her ample breasts, she smiled pleased. He continued to fondle her then as he became aroused, he entered into her warm body. As their nether regions collided repeatedly, she embraced his neck and felt his rapid uneven breath near her ear. As he shuddered to a close, she was pleased until he spoke in a drunken daze.

"I love you…Kara."

o…………………………………………………………………………

While my hairdresser was putting the last finishing touches, I slipped on my flamboyant engagement ring and looked at Luten waiting patiently in a chaise close by. His dark ebony silk coat, elaborately decorated with gold and scarlet piping, was casually opened as he rested his dark head on a raised arm. His ebony hair was pulled tautly back, wrapped with the insignia of the future heir to the throne. Lightly dozing, his pale face was serene and peaceful.

"I'm all ready," I spoke loudly and he slowly opened his eyes.

Luten rose to his tall rather lanky frame and buttoned up his coat. He extended his arm as dictated by customs and placed his practiced smile upon his gentle face. I imitated him and placed my mask of happiness as well.

We gracefully entered into the Queen's chamber and greeted our royal family graciously. Prince Ozai remained expressionless as usual though he did glance towards my direction for most of the evening. His wife, Princess Ursa, smiled happily at our fabulous acting. But the most pleased was the Fire Lord and his Lady.

"Grandfather Azulon, have you been feeling well? I heard about your recent attack of a cold," I asked kindly and smiled at the elderly yet regal couple.

"Isn't she just a dear, Grandfather? I already told her that it was nothing more than a cough but she barely slept for she was praying fervently," Luten smiled genially as he gave me kiss on the cheek.

"It is so good to see such a young, happy couple. Does it not remind you of our younger years, Azulon?" Fire Lady Ilah smiled as she placed her heavily ornamented hand over her husband's. She had been a petite woman in her earlier days but as she garnered more and more years, the rather cute princess had changed into a rather rotund lady.

"Your union is a blessing to all. The world is looking at you two for a fruitful marriage. All are celebrating the union of two grand noble families," the elderly calm Fire Lord smiled at our direction.

All we could do was smile and nod our heads in respectful agreement. I felt my heavily decorated face stiffen like a mask into the plastic, static smile that remained painted on my face. Luten shifted uncomfortably under the table but remained an excellent actor in view.

"Oh, I do hope we hear good news soon from you, Kara dear. I do wish I could see my great-grandchildren before I leave this lovely earth," the Fire Lady abruptly spoke and startled all of us.

"Oh yes! Kara dear, you and Luten must quickly add more family members…we certainly have been missing the wonderful laughter of children," Princess Ursa quickly added with a delighted smile.

Only I could hear Luten's tested sigh and we both remained stiffly smiling. We only barely managed a forced laugh and I turned to my drink.

"Well, Grandmother, Mother…Kara and I are still quite young…" Luten smiled smoothly with great effort.

"Nonsense! I was younger than Kara when I had your father, Luten. Besides, your mother had been a young bride as well," the Fire Lady quickly dampened our excuses.

"Well, we hope to hear good news soon," Princess Ursa quickly smiled and that conversation ended as we continued to talk about another family topic.

After that interesting dinner, I retired tiredly to my suite but a sudden jerk of my wrist pulled me back.

"I shall see you later tonight," Luten spoke darkly then disappeared into his own sparsely lit suite.

I got a sudden replay of our wedding night and I became stricken. My feet trudged slowly to my suite and I slumped as I waited with dread. I knew that this moment would occur soon enough but I was not prepared for it right this minute.

I plopped on top of my smooth silk sheets and traced the embroidery which decorated it. Soon there was nothing but darkness and my husband.


	16. Chapter 16 Remember

The heading on the last few chapters is a typo

The heading on the last few chapters is a typo.

I woke in a start when I realized that the moon was still out against the onyx sky. As the cool night breeze flowed through the transparent red silk curtains, I sighed with contentment. Rubbing my bare arms, I slipped out of my warm sheets and walked out into the enveloping arms of the cool night. I stood close to the balcony, the silk curtains wrapping against my body. Closing my eyes, I stretched out my arms up toward the lovely night sky when I heard something stirring in the lily gardens below.

I heard a sigh from the garden and with startled fright I stepped backwards, colliding into the warm arms of my husband. With sudden start, I recoiled and jumped away from him. As my eyes adjusted to the figure, I saw him extending a silken robe. All the blood rushed to my face as I realized that I was stark naked. With embarrassment I could not move my limbs. Thankfully, he crossed over and covered me with his chilling hands brushing against my collarbone.

"Luten, I didn't…I didn't know that you were still here," my cheeks were aflame as I managed to mutter out those words.

He did not look at me however. His dark hair hung around his shoulders loosely as his golden eyes narrowed in a glare. His cold fingertips covered my lips as he silenced me. He darted at the garden and left me in the bedroom to investigate.

In a flash he had jumped off into the dark gardens below. I ran to the edge to see if he was alright but I could not see anything in the darkness. Looking into the dark bushes, I opened my mouth to shout his name but I shut it quickly as I feared that I would in turn put him in danger. In a worried slump, I sank back into bed. I feared I would never sleep but I must have for the next I knew, it was morning.

I fell out of bed to run to the garden yet not a single soul was in the lily gardens that morning. There was a strange feeling of worry in the pit of my stomach and I dropped my head into my hands. When I finally turned back into my bedroom, I was startled to find my husband lying on his side on my silken sheets. His dark hair spread out all about him, Luten might has well have been my birthday gift. I felt warm relief and I ran to his side.

"Are you alright? Are you not hurt?" I frantically asked him, waking him from his slumber.

"My, my. Is my Duchess actually worried for me? I never knew you were so emotional," he replied with a smirk as he slowly rose to his lanky frame.

I rolled my eyes at his rude reply and I turned away from him. He stretched lazily, languidly with a huge yawn then he finally rose. As he slipped on his coat over his bare chest, he strode over to me very seriously.

"Dear…wife. I would take more care in the dark," he spoke darkly as he pulled back his hair, "especially when there are other men spying on your pale beauty under the guise of the night. I don't want other men to view your sacred beauty…after all Duchess, you are only mine to view."

He smirked in the annoying manner which infuriated me. His condescending manner was humiliating and stifling. He was threatening me, warning me to watch my place and I shuddered as his cold fingertips brushed against my cheeks as he pushed away a lock of my hair.

"When did you find the time to become so well acquainted with my cousin?" he asked forwardly as he stopped passing by me.

"When will you stop seeing his wife?" I retaliated as I looked up into his golden glare.

He frowned and scowled, his pale face turning most unpleasant. Then his handsome somber face quickly changed into his ever present smirk.

"Stay away from Zuko, Kara. I do not want a repeat of last night's incident," he spoke coolly, his voice cutting like ice. Then he disappeared silently out of my suite.

I slumped and cradled my head in my hands. My head was reeling and I felt as if the cool morning air had turned into a stifling gas. I hated him so much that I could not stand it.

I rose and my heavily defined makeup was applied thickly upon my pale, worn face. Hands flew around me as they prepared my outer appearance. As I sat, I wished that someone could fix and repaint me inside just as they did to my skin.

The lovely daffodils were in bloom and I sat melancholically in the garden, looking blankly into the blazing sunlight. I felt someone approaching and a pale hand flashed past in the brilliant light.

"Kara," he breathed into my ear. His warm cheek brushed against my neck as he rested his head on it.

"Zuko, we can't…we can't be friends," I spoke in a whisper as I remained staring blankly into the blinding sun.

"Do you not remember, Kara? Don't you remember your promise on that cliff, Kara?" he spoke earnestly, hurt flooding in his golden eyes.

"What are you talking about?" I broke my blank stare and looked at his sad, pale face.

"Maybe it was that fall…perhaps you forgot…" he muttered to himself then turned away, "you promised that we shall always care for one another…like the way Kail and you did. You promised because I envied you two…Azula and I never were like you two and I was jealous…so you promised."

I looked at his slumped, lanky frame and I felt dizzy. Looking at his pathetically sad demeanor, I felt a wave of familiarity wash over me. He had been smaller then, as we had been much younger, but his expression was one I had seen very clearly before those many years ago.

I smiled and grabbed his hand. I gave him a warm smile and embraced him with familiarity.

"I remember. I remember now, Zuko. I'm so sorry…" I sighed with slight despair.

I had forgotten all about our little pact of friendship because so much had happened that night. Kail had died and I had almost died…that little promise had been completely erased along with that entire night.

Abruptly I stood up, breaking our embrace. I turned away and started to spin round and round.

"What in the world are you doing? Are you feeling all right?" I heard his thin voice quaver slightly in fear of my mental health.

"I used to do this with Kail when we were younger. We would spin around and around until the world became but a blur. Faster and faster, we would spin until we were all alone. There would only be us…then we would lose one another's hands and…well, we would fall and be so dizzy that we couldn't stand up," I spoke reminiscently as my hair and my skirt flew around me in a circle.

As I spun around and around, I grabbed his pale hands and I locked my elbows. We smiled as we began to spin faster and faster. The garden became nothing but a mass of green and pale yellow. Soon, the colors began to fade as I only saw Zuko laughing joyously in front of me. I tilted my head back as we began to spin ever more faster. As our speed increased we had a small constant fear in the back of our minds of what was to occur when we stopped. The inevitability of hurting ourselves was there but for some reason it did not matter. All we could think about, all we did think about was the moment in front of us at that very second. Nothing else mattered.

But as all things go, our spin had to end and slowly but surely I felt my knees buckling from the exercise and my fingers started to slip. In a flurry, our fingers broke apart and I smiled as we fell in opposite directions. The world started to spin and slowly the colors started to reappear. I had a splitting headache but the feeling of disconnection with the world exhilarated me. I was at peace finally for once.

We both rose and smiled at one another before we parted. I then started to my own suite when I saw familiar figures standing together. My recently elated heart sunk deeply into misery once again. Humiliated and aggravated, I turned quickly to my rooms. I would get rid of her if it was the last thing I did.

Calantha waited by the almond blossoms, breathing in their sweet fragrance as she waited. When she saw his tall figure coming towards her, she stood quickly and smoothed her virginal pale silver gown. She had taken extra care of her dress that morning.

"Whatever is the matter Calantha? You sounded terribly upset in your letter," Luten spoke rapidly but tenderly. His fingers reached out to touch her powdered cheek but he stopped midway. Kara's stormy eyes and terrifying snake-like voice coming to mind.

"Luten…I…" she broke into loud sobs as she crumbled to the stone bench. Her whole body shuddered as she could not speak. "He does not love me, Luten," she breathed softly, "he loves your wife!"

Luten was silent. He was aware of the criss-crossed match and he was exhausted with trying to understand it.

"Calantha…I don't know what to say to you to make you feel better," he spoke softly to her, raising her from her knees.

"Love me Luten. Please…you must love me or I shall die," she threw herself on him and cried on his shoulder.

"Calantha," he pulled her off him and sat her on the bench, "please act with decorum."

"You love her too don't you? You love that bitch too! Why does she have everything?" Calantha became hysterical.

"Calantha, compose yourself please. I do not love her. Frankly, I hate her. She is the most…cruel, heartless person. She has everything, yes…but she has nothing at the same time. And she is my wife. You must remember that, Calantha, along with the fact that you are my beloved cousin's wife. I care for Zuko…he is my brother and I cannot dishonor him. I shall rather kill myself before I let anything harm Zuko. Do you understand, Calantha?" Luten spoke qiuietly and calmly, looking blankly at the branches.

"Then must I be unhappy?" Calantha asked in a thin, strained voice.

Luten suddenly remembered what Kara had said to him before their engagement. She had asked him the same thing and he had ignored her sad cry. He saw Calantha's tearstained face then turned away and left.

I was seething with fury when Azula walked into my parlor. Her golden eyes glinted with intelligence and mischief. She flicked at her meticulous manicured fingernails and smirked her pale pink lips.

"Whatever for do I enjoy this honor, Azula?" I rose to greet her with a smile.

"Kara, or shall I say Cousin now? I prefer your name. Cousin reminds me of Luten," she spoke distastefully at his name.

"I prefer my name as well," I smiled at her pleasantly but I was curious as to why she was here.

"You must be wondering why I am here, Kara. After all you have been so busy, you were hardly a good friend to me in a long time," she pouted with displeasure as she continued to examine her fingers.

"I am sorry. I have been having some marital troubles," I sighed as I touched my forehead.

"See, this is why I didn't want to be married. It is so annoying, this marriage business…but I am sorry to hear of your misfortunes. Whatever is the matter?" Azula asked with slight concern.

"Luten still loves that insipid little girl…the one with the grey eyes, your brother's wife…your sister-in-law," I spoke with a scowl.

"Her? I shall never understand Cousin's tastes. She is so common, I can barely stand to be in a room with her. Perhaps, we can do something about it. I am sure that I can get rid of her…at least temporarily. But you do know what you must do…remember Kara?" Azula smiled at me.

"Of course. How could I forget?" I gave her a strained smile. I hated her very much but it was always a good thing to be on her good side.

"Remember Kara, you are my friend first and foremost. You must always be on my side before anyone else. That is why you are my best friend. Right, Kara?" she smirked as she tapped her fingers on the marble tabletop.

"Of course," I nodded reluctantly.

With that she smiled, her face lighting up with malice. With a quick nod, she left me whispering in soft tones.

"Remember Kara."


	17. Chapter 17 Promises

The heading on the last few chapters is a typo

Rather unexpectedly I became deathly ill, just as the lilies were in full bloom. While the world seemed to be blossoming in great beauty and bounty, I felt as if I were shrinking and withering away in my sequestered suite. Just outside my wide windows, behind my silk curtains, was the sea of fragrant blossoms tantalizing my senses. I wished that I could be out with them.

Unfortunately I was ordered to remain within the airy confinement of my canopied bed. I sighed restlessly as I fiddled with the sheets. I was not sick…at least I didn't believe I was, but for some reason I could barely stand and kept having dizzy spells. The smell of food sickened me and it was believed that I was sick with a brain fever. An investigation was initiated to find how I came into contact with this illness and I was meanwhile confined to my room.

While I remained sedated and sheltered in my rooms, Azula gave me the greatest gift I could ever ask for. The grey eyed princess was sent to the Erma palace, an uninhabitable crumbling mess of a ruin in the damp swamp region of the rural country.

The tribes who lived near Erma was suffering a recent tragedy of a massive flooding of their grounds and it was recommended that one member of the royal family attend to help their situation. The men, having greater issues of the state, were not asked to go and it was placed upon the women to send a member. Ilah being elderly and Princess Ursa being needed at the palace were looked over and it was said that I should leave for Erma as a symbol of charity and kindness. However with my required bed rest, the honor was instead passed to Calantha. She was forced to depart quickly.

I couldn't help but giggle hysterically into my cool satin sheets when I heard the news. She was surely going to be miserable in that dump of a housing and it pleased me greatly. It was horrible of me to feel such joy in her pain but it did not matter anymore to me how she felt. I felt delicious triumph as I heard of her banishment.

"Where is she?" Luten's cold voice penetrated through my suite.

"Please, your highness. Princess Kara needs peace and quiet for her illness," Ayanna's voice was calm and collected.

"There you are," Luten was furious, "You did this didn't you? You and Azula are so similar; it is disgusting. I am horrified at the both of you."

"What exactly are you accusing me of?" I made an effort to rise.

"Erma is uninhabitable! No one uses it for a reason!" he bellowed at me. I had never heard his raised voice before. He would always talk in a quiet controlled manner.

"Would you have me go instead then? You would rather send your sick wife?" I retorted back angrily.

"You could have arranged her accommodations somewhere else," he trembled slightly with anger.

"She's a princess. I thought she would demand a palace," I spoke haughtily.

"If you and Azula pull another stunt like this, I shall kill you both," he sneered and stalked away.

My head spun and I gently lowered myself back to bed. I cradled my pillow and tried to block the searing pain but it wouldn't leave. I felt a wave of nausea wash over me and I shut my eyes tight shut, willing the pain to leave. Soon, everything was quiet and I began to relax. A brilliant bright light soon shone over my eyes.

My eyelids fluttered open and I was surprised to find myself in an exotic garden full of the darkly fragrant blue roses. I gathered a handful and crushed their delicate petals in an excited embrace when I noticed a small figure in white a short distance away.

"Who are you?" I commanded at the small child.

The child turned and I fell back. It was Kail…his sweet childish face was reminiscent of our mother's. The toddler Kail smiled broadly as he had often done when he was younger, before he had been sent away to study at the Academy. His long auburn curls fell gently about his pleasant, beautiful face and he gently extended a bouquet of blue roses.

"Kara, are you finally here to play with me?" he asked earnestly with his brilliant smile.

"What happened to you?" tears spilled down my cheeks and splashed onto my indigo gown as I spoke confused at my surroundings.

"Why did it take you so long? I missed you. I missed you every day. Now we can play with your roses together!" he jumped excitedly, his auburn curls bouncing around him.

"Where am I?" I asked, tears clouding my vision.

"You're here with me, silly! We are together here in this magnificent place. Your roses never die here. Kara, you will stay right? You won't leave me alone here right?" he asked with a broad smile.

"You left me alone, Kail. You left…and I was all alone," I cried hysterically.

"But we're here now…don't cry Kara. You're prettier when you don't cry," he gently wiped off my tears.

"Why did you leave? Why?" I grabbed his shoulders and shook him.

"Kara," he smiled his pleasant archaic smile, "you won't go right?"

I let go of his shoulders and my tears continued to cascade down my cheeks. My brother…my beautiful brother, who I had always compared to the sun, was but a shadow. His emerald eyes shined like diamonds but held nothing. Kail…my sun, my idol, my friend…he was weak. Our heir had been but a simple character and we had destroyed him.

"Kara?"

"No, Kail. I can't stay…at least not right now," I heard my voice cracking.

"But you will come back soon?" he asked earnestly.

"Yes. I'll be back real soon. We will be able to play for eternity when I return," I promised.

"You promise? I shall be counting the days," he reluctantly agreed.

"I promise."

"I'll miss you," he whispered as he gave me a hug.

As I embraced him tighter, everything blurred and suddenly we were far apart. He continued to fade until everything disappeared.

I woke and found that it was dinner time. Ayanna rushed into my sleeping chamber as she hurried me. I was to have dinner with my husband. He had something important to announce.

"I shall be going to Ba Sing Se. Father is having more difficulty than we anticipated," he spoke rapidly and coldly as he stirred his soup.

"What?" I was shocked that he was to go to the battlefield.

"Shouldn't you be happy? I thought you enjoyed banishing people," he looked surprised at my unhappy expression.

"I did not do anything! Everyone seems to think that I have all this power when I don't even have the power to marry someone I truly like," I gritted my teeth in frustration.

"Of course, darling wife. Anyways, you should be glad. You will not have to see my face for a while," he smirked.

"Be careful," I whispered ignoring that annoying trait.

"What?" he dropped his spoon with a startled expression.

"I said be careful," I dropped my gaze. Perhaps my dreams had finally come true. Perhaps I would finally be free.

"I shall," he replied quickly, nervously.

We continued to eat in silence. Actually, he continued to eat while I sat watching him. He seemed immensely distracted and concentrated on his soup. The silence was deafening…stifling. I always felt as if I were suffocating when I was with him. I wished to shout, scream, kick, and cry but all I could do was sit silently. He never noticed how I wished to die whenever it was like this between us. How I wished to kill Calantha and him both. I wished to push them off my cliff. I wished that they would suffocate under the azure waves together. This all would not even begin to compensate my humiliation.

The ladies of the court had started to notice our animosity and many were throwing themselves upon Luten in hopes of becoming his mistress. I had to endure this gossip and embarrassment with a deaf ear. Smiling, pretending that everything was fine…I had to endure it all.

Smiling up at him with the plastic mask I had grown ever fond of at court, I wished to tell him false concerns and engage in mindless conversation. So I started to chatter about insipid little details, stuff he and I both didn't really care for. It was easier this way.

In a short week, he left. The lilacs were drooping with their abundant flowers and I gathered some to pack with his belongings. He awkwardly accepted them and held them stiffly as he mounted his great beast, which was to take him all the way to Ba Sing Se. I smiled up at him and tucked away my loose locks for a light breeze blew.

"Goodbye, my dear," he spoke theatrically for the hordes who crowded around him.

"Promise me that you shall return," I smiled up at him.

"I promise," he was startled and left with an uncomfortable expression.

I watched his figure disappear into the mist. His figure became smaller and smaller till he was no more than a speck of dust. Soon there was no trace of him. I scowled then turned back into the palace. He was gone but I did not feel free.


	18. Chapter 18 Baby

The heading on the last few chapters is a typo

I had always been very thin and flat as a board for as long as I can remember. Mother had been petite in stature and well curved; the perfect female. I however, always the anomaly, was gifted with an unusually tall frame and virtually no curves. I usually stood at least a head above most other females, making it quite difficult to not stand out. Of course, my outlandish shade of hair did no more help.

I took very well care of my figure and it was not difficult for me to remain thin. Therefore I was shocked when I realized I could not get into my tight lacings because of my sudden appearance of curves. I measured my waist with my long fingers and found the diameter to have increased there as well.

"Princess, perhaps you should stand up straighter?" Ayanna encouraged me as she struggled with my maids to help me into my gown.

I frowned as I furrowed my brows with frustration. I had been on bed rest for a while but I couldn't have gained these curves from those few short weeks. The girl in the reflection certainly was me but there was something off. I kept turning, looking at myself in different angles and I became angry. Everything was frustrating me.

Somehow we managed to loosen some of the stays and I squeezed into my constricting gown. The restricting gown made me ever more frustrated however and I was in a terrible mood as I sat for breakfast. Luten was gone so I was free to enjoy eating alone. The thought pleased me and I eagerly started to eat. My maids seemed shocked that I ate for I had difficulty eating before this. The soup was wonderful and I savored it while I quickly ate. Suddenly though I felt like retching.

I clasped my hand over my mouth but it was useless. I fell to the ground and regurgitated all that I just ate. The maids rushed to my side in horror and with exhaustion I collapsed into one of their outstretched arms.

When I woke I found that I was under the careful watch of the ladies of the court. Princess Ursa rushed to my side and I scowled in irritation.

"What is going on? Why are you all here?"

"Kara, why did you not tell us that you were with child?" she smiled broadly.

"What?" I shot up in shock.

"Calm down dear, you need to take care of yourself now more than ever. Luten will be hearing the news soon and shall be returning. We must celebrate this joyous occasion!" she was ecstatic but I was not.

My face turned scarlet as I looked around the room and saw many of the young ladies scowling behind their false smiles. Azula was distastefully frowning at the entire idea of childbearing, while Seraphina was livid at the fact that I was to receive even more attention and praise. Lady Nuria however seemed almost as ecstatic as the Fire Lady and Princess Ursa.

"You have done such a wonderful thing, Princess. The world is rejoicing at your wonderful gift. Just imagine, in just a few short months, you shall have the future heir to the throne!" Nuria clapped with great excitement.

I managed a short fake uneasy laugh as I shifted uneasily under the scrutiny of the dozens of eyes. Many were as unhappy as I was but there were quite a few who seemed truly happy at the news. They were treating me as if I saved the world from some terrible destruction or a huge monster. I felt that I was getting credited for something that was so mundane. Many people had children after all…it was not as if I was to have the world's last child.

Thankfully Princess Ursa felt that I should have some time to relax on my own and ushered the several dozens of court ladies out of my suite. Soon, I was left alone in the solemn quiet and I felt very alone. The red silk curtains blew ever so slightly in a calm manner and I went to sit in front of them. The lilies in the garden below my windows had bloomed in a bloody red and the color displeased me. The gardeners had believed that it would be a compliment for many liked to give me red flowers. People liked to think that because my hair was red I would like red roses, red tulips, red carnations…the works. I had always given a smile at these gifts and gestures but the red lilies bothered me however. Their open petals hung listlessly and seemed to be gaping in a most unflattering manner. The color looked as if human blood had been spilled all over the field. It was, in the best terms, hideous.

Though they bothered me greatly, I couldn't help but stare at them. They were hypnotic…just like Calantha's grey eyes. I hated the lilies ever more after I made this connection in my mind. I wished to run out and cut off all the heads of each bloody lily.

I lowered myself and rested my cheeks on the cold marble floor of my bed chamber. Just as I closed my eyes, I heard strange noises from my garden. As I rose to investigate, I noticed a couple giggling drunkenly and embracing one another wildly. I hid behind my curtains as I inspected their excited embraces. It was so different when one was truly in love it seemed. They both looked so happy as they kissed one another…it was so genuine. My heart sank as I realized that I would never have that. The happy, light joy they were experiencing by being together would forever be something foreign to me. It upset me a great deal and I felt something I had never felt before in my life. I was jealous.

Just as I felt a jealous rage start to build up inside me, I heard a loud ruckus coming from the entrance into my suite. I opened my bed chamber to find Zuko arguing with a maid.

"Zuko, what in the world are you doing here?" I smiled a little in curiousity.

"Is it true? Are you having Cousin's child?" he asked bluntly, fear haunting his eyes.

"Well, I am his wife…" I laughed uneasily.

His face looked horrified rather than the ecstatic expression everyone else gave. He looked devastated and I was confused. I knew that he adored his cousin and I had falsely assumed that he would be happy. With a confused smile, I went to ask him what was wrong when I received another visitor. Calantha had returned to congratulate me on my happy news.

"Calantha, you're back…" Zuko managed to mutter out in shock.

She was silent in shock. Her grey eyes filled with tears and her mouth dropped trying to form words. We stood in silence for what seemed an eternity when she managed to give a curt little bow.

"I have heard the wonderful news and came to wish you the greatest happiness, Princess Kara," her voice wavered as she tried desperately to control herself.

"Thank you. I am glad that you are back," I spoke softly back to her. I could not understand why she was so upset however. It was I who was supposed to be uncomfortable and unhappy at this situation.

She slowly turned to leave when she collided with yet another visitor of mine. I rolled my eyes in desperation as I realized that it was my husband. Zuko looked embarrassed while Calantha looked terribly upset. I myself felt all the little energy I had drain out of my lanky body as I saw Luten's surprised and curious face.

"Is there a party going on I was not aware of?" he laughed jokingly as he looked at each one of us with a curious look.

"You came back so quickly," I smiled the most genuine smile I could muster.

"I never made it to Ba Sing Se. Almost as soon as I started I received the wonderful news that my wife was having my child. I rushed back to see you my darling," he was teasing me still.

Luten came and kissed me for show, making the other two quite uncomfortable. Then he embraced his cousin with a broad smile.

"Now what are you so upset about Zuko? You seem as if you are in a sour mood. I thought you would be happy when you heard the news. You're going to be an uncle!" Luten laughed jovially, pretending to ignore Zuko's even more dour mood.

I looked and saw the four of us in a reflection of a hanging mirror. We all looked so unhappy…it was miserable. We looked miserable. Even what is supposed to be a joyous occasion was greeted like a funeral. This was the family my child was to be born into.


	19. Chapter 19 Father

_Hiatus is finally over…._

With Luten back, the whole court was once again assembled. Life was meant to be a party again. Everyone was to celebrate the heir that was meant to emerge out of me.

I felt more stifled and imprisoned than ever before. All were hovering about me, enclosing around me, suffocating me till I couldn't breathe. I just wished to die.

Luten acted his part well. He enthusiastically accepted the congratulations on the upcoming birth of his child and merrily joined the courts various entertainments. From afar, it almost looked genuine. I almost believed that he was truly happy with this news.

I often felt lonelier now that the entire court was here again. I felt so isolated and lost. All I had for a companion, it seemed, was my baby.

It was difficult for me to completely accept the idea. There was just the slightest little concave curve right below my belly button that was it. I couldn't believe that I was to give birth in a few short months to a child…Luten's child.

I wished to be left alone but the Fire Lady and Princess Ursa forbade it. I was to join along the merriment, paraded as a symbol of prosperity and happiness for the empire.

Covered with opulent silks and heavy ornaments, I was gently escorted to the balls and exhibited for everyone to see.

The heir to the Duke of Lissen, the young Marquis of Paguan, was a handsome boy with features that were as beautiful as a girl's. He was highly courted because of his station as well as his beauty

He was dancing with his sister, the Lady Iola, and as they glided across the floor, I felt a tear rolling down my pale powdered cheek. Iola was smiling gloriously up at her brother and they were in perfect harmony. As they spun about, time seemed to stop and I felt as if we all were meant to hold our breaths.

The waltz started to crescendo and I couldn't breathe. The siblings remained oblivious and continued to spin around and around in front of me.

I clutched my skirt and clasped my neck. I felt as if I were being smothered. Luten noticed my strange reaction and grabbed my shoulder. He jerked me roughly with worried concern.

"What is wrong? Can you not breathe?"

I looked up into his golden eyes then I shut them for I felt tears bubbling out of them. His cold fingers wiped away the stray tear that was still falling on my cheek. I shivered as his fingertips touched my warm cheek.

He was curious and unsettled by that tear. Kara was emotionless…well, the only emotion he knew that she had was anger, jealousy, and greed. He never thought that she even knew how to cry. It was unsettling to see her in this manner.

I ran to get some fresh air from the balcony when I heard someone approaching me from behind. Exasperatedly, I turned to shove away Luten. I was most surprised to find Prince Ozai clasp my arms.

I bowed with respect but I felt uncomfortable at how he refused to release my arms. He held fast to them and I felt strangely trapped.

"Kara…I remember your mother. Callia looked very much like you," his voice was slithering and unsettling.

"Thank you for the compliment, your highness. Most people agree with me when I say that she was much more beautiful. My brother resembled her more greatly," I rambled politely. He still had yet to release my arms.

His golden eyes looked dark and I felt his hand brush against my collarbone, making their way to touch my earlobe where my heavy teardrop pearls hung. I squirmed under his touch and excused myself.

I decided to just retreat to my rooms and rest for the night. As I sank into my bed, I shivered as I looked out my wide window. The cherry blossoms had not blossomed yet and it was supposed to be bountiful by this point in it's season. The trees remained sterile however and it was unnerving.

I suppose I knew it before I even heard it. It was typical in my life. My life was full of disappointments and tragedies. I should have known.

Ayanna came rushing into my bedroom at dawn and urged me to wake up. She held a scroll on top of the magnolia tray. It was specifically used for government related scrolls.

Her face was stricken and she could not control her emotions. I knew then…I knew before I even unraveled the scroll.

"Your highness…I am so…I am so…" Ayanna could not control her tears.

I opened the silk roll and felt it slip from my fingers as I saw the imperial seal for the deceased. My father was dead.

I felt a wave of nausea and excruciating pain from my abdomen. The darkness overcame me again.

I heard dulled muffles of various people but it was hard to make out what they were actually saying.

After what seemed an eternity in the darkness, I finally woke to the blinding light of the sun. Ayanna rushed over to my side and pulled away the canopy curtains.

"My lady, are you awake? Oh, your highness…I am so sorry!"

She was hysterical and I could not understand why. My father was gone but she seemed hysterical about yet another tragedy. I frowned and made an effort to rise when I realized why Ayanna could not control herself.

My stomach was once again flat and empty. The odd feeling of being invaded was gone. I was childless.

I didn't know how to or what to feel. I just felt another wave of nausea overcoming me when I noticed a tall figure slumped over on a chaise near to my curtained bed.

Luten was asleep. He had been watching over me after he heard about the death of his unborn child. His elegantly long fingers were softly clutching the golden blanket reserved for the royal births of the Fire Lord's family.

They had all been expecting a beautiful boy yet all I managed was a pool of blood. I suppose that it ran in the family. We were experts of death, my family…Father was amazing at killing great militaries and civilizations, Mother was excellent at smothering any sense of affection, and my brother was wonderful at ending his own life.

As I watched the shuddering Ayanna and my quietly asleep husband, I felt a detachment unlike any other experience I ever had before. I didn't even feel the great sadness I had about my beloved father's death anymore. I felt nothing. It was as if my child had taken the very last emotion I had with it to it's grave.


	20. Chapter 20 Night

There was nothing now. Nothing could keep us together now…our house of cards had to fall.

I didn't really feel anything anymore. It was odd. I had adored my father, my beloved father who cared for me so. For some reason though, I could not cry hearing about his death. I had been shocked certainly but that was it. It was as if I had cried all the tears I could possibly shed years ago.

I felt a secret pleasure in being able to squeeze into my elaborate gowns again. As Ayanna laced me tightly into my constricting gowns, I felt a warm familiarity that had been gone for those few months. It was easier when I couldn't breathe and my elaborate gowns did just that.

Luten fell into our old patterns again. Our early morning breakfasts were heavy with a deafening silence, which I welcomed heartily. It was what I had grown accustomed to.

My husband no longer read the mountain of scrolls however. He chose to slowly eat and gaze cautiously towards my direction, straight down the long table.

"Is there something wrong?" I pleasantly asked him with a half smile. It had become almost involuntary to be pleasant towards my cold husband.

"Are you…you look…your gown looks nice today. Blue suits you," he stammered softly.

"Why thank you. It's actually called hyacinth, I believe. I thought that it would be to soft of a color to suit my hair but surprisingly it looks better than I had hoped. I feel that the color is so pretty and light, it almost lifts one's spirits. Doesn't it?" I smiled broadly, mechanically as I brightly talked about nonsense such as dress colors. I felt that this was what wives would normally say to their husbands. Idiotic comments that allowed the men to relax and ridicule.

Luten's golden eyes wavered and he slowly nodded his head. He returned to stirring his soup absentmindedly as I began to eat vicariously. He looked surprised and worried to see my appetite.

I smiled as I stuck a spoonful of sweetened porridge into my mouth. His lips pursed slightly as his face quivered ever so slightly.

He rose to his dignified height and strode over to my side. I rose as he grasped my hand. He placed a cold kiss on it and looked sadly down into my dark violet eyes.

"I shall take you to the theatre tonight. The opera is playing the piece about the quaint little shepherdess and nobleman," he softly spoke into my ear, almost as if in a whisper.

I looked pleasantly surprised up into his glittering golden eyes and nodded in agreement.

"I shall dress accordingly. Thank you," I smiled.

He half smiled and left swiftly after that. I sank back into my chair after I saw his coat disappear around the corner. I picked up my spoon to resume eating but I no longer felt like it, not without Luten.

The royal family left me alone and sent my many gifts instead. They thought that I would prefer being isolated for a while and they were right.

I spent all day choosing the appropriate attire for the theatre that night. I finally was content with a dark navy gown made of expensive brocade. As I slid in my teardrop pearls into my earlobes, Luten walked in.

He pleasantly escorted me and had his arm encircled around my wasp waist for the entire evening. Even while we watched the opera, I could feel his breath on the nape of my neck. His arms encircled me possessively.

"That was delightful! Lighthearted and romantic, I enjoyed it greatly, Luten. Thank you for arranging it for me," I smiled broadly up at him.

He nodded silently as he looked at me oddly. It was very strange. I understood that he felt something like pity for me because of my recent tragedies but he had never showed me any sort of emotion such as these. I had become accustomed to his coldness and anger, it was unsettling to see him worried about me in such a manner.

I walked into my bedchamber when I realized that he had followed me, planning on spending the night with me. He dismissed the maids as he gently grabbed me. Slowly he pulled at the lacings of my gown and rested me on his lap. I felt his lips on my neck and I almost shivered at his chilling touch.

His fingers rested on my inner thigh as he stroked me tenderly. The crawled up and I gasped as he bit my earlobe. I leaned back against his chest and closed my eyes as his fingers continued to stroke me. I sighed when I felt an intense pleasure building inside me. I couldn't stop myself from gasping louder and louder. He just continued to kiss my throat. Finally, I felt a release and shuddered violently. His fingers escaped hot with a sticky liquid that seemed to be dripping out of me.

I looked at him embarrassed and curious at what he had just done. He wiped his fingers on the bed sheet as he unloosened my gown with delicate expertise. I couldn't help but assume that this was not the first time he unloosened a lady's gown.

He pulled off all my undergarments and made me sit on his lap as he kissed my chest. His skin felt cold but his breath was warm and his soft tongue brushed against my breast and I felt the same pleasure starting to build again.

"What are you doing to me?" I whispered softly. I was embarrassed that I had no idea what he was doing to me.

He smiled but remained silent as he continued. My thighs gripped his waist in a reflex as he sucked on the edge of my breast.

Finally he undressed himself and laid ontop of me as he entered me like the times before. Yet this time, I wanted him inside me. He pushed in and out but I wanted him inside deeper. I felt my walls grip his member wanting to hold him inside me and he became ever more agitated. He groaned as he violently thrust into me again and again. He almost seemed as if he was going to ram me into the wall when he finally shuddered to a stop. Surprisingly hot liquid splattered inside me and he collapsed on top of me.

For the rest of the night, his arms protectively caged me next to his alabaster body. Soon I heard his soft, consistent breath and I knew that he was asleep. I however could not sleep. I turned to look at my sleeping husband and felt an infuriating confusion. I could not understand why he was suddenly so tender with me.

When the sunlight started to shimmer across his eyelids, I laid perfectly still. He stirred ever so slightly to not bother me.

"Why did you do that?" I spoke to him with my face still pressed on the satin bed sheets.

"You're awake? I tried to not bother you…" he deliberately ignored me then planted a soft kiss on my mussed up tendrils.

I turned to look at him and I saw his familiar grim repose. With a heavy sigh, I turned away again.

I knew why he had done what he did last night. It was not love. It was pity, I guess. No, it was to ensure another heir. I had to get one right.

"Kara, you should eat breakfast," he started softly, coaxing me to rise.

I ignored him and remained in bed. I no longer felt as if I could pretend.

Our lives truly became silent after that. We no longer made an effort to even pretend to be in love. There was no point.

At nights however, he came into my bedchamber daily. Without any exchange, he would carry be to the sheets and make me die a little every day. I did not want it but I could not live without it either.

It was difficult for him too. He came to me every night as he felt it was his duty but he needed solace as well. He found it in the tender arms of various young ladies in my court. I had no choice but to pleasantly accept this. This was my life and I had chosen it willingly.


	21. Chapter 21 Mistress

As I crumbled slowly on the inside, Luten seemed to shatter right in front of everyone. The once stoic, reserved, and perfect prince had disappeared and instead he was replaced with an unruly, overindulgent prince in a similar manner to Zuko. His chilling, haughty glances had been replaced with the pleasant drunken glaze of a stupor. He no longer cared what anyone else thought. It was too late.

It wasn't long before I heard of his various philanderings. Scandalous tales of various young women under the fruit trees began to emerge and I did all I could to maintain a straight face to my court.

It was when I made a rare appearance to the Princess's daffodil gardens when I had to deal with the harshness of reality.

The large parasol above my head shaded most of my view but it was impossible to not see my husband gaily laughing in the arms of another young woman. Ayanna hurried to shield my view but it was too late. I already saw the rare happiness in his gaze.

The mistress was a pretty young thing, just introduced into court. With wide doe eyes of a steely grey, I couldn't help but notice her physical similarity to Calantha.

Though I no longer felt sadness, I still felt humiliation and anger. With all the court already watching me due to my recent miscarriage, I did not need any more pitying attention.

The young thing was not even from a wealthy powerful family. I felt as if I were constantly getting humiliated by these unworthy commoners.

"Lady Alila of the Li family is here to see you, your highness."

"Let her in."

She looked petrified as most children do when they are about to be punished. Her silky ebony pair had been smoothly parted and styled to make her look even more youthful. Yet, I could see a hardness on her childlike face and I rightly assumed that she had been the mistress to several powerful men before she met Luten. I almost pitied her for she was still so very young of age.

"Your highness…" she stuttered in front of my presence.

"Did I ask you to speak? Where in the world did you get your etiquette training? No one knows the proper court manner anymore and it's been but a few short years since I was trained. How strange it is…I was your age two years ago. Only two years of marriage," I spoke pleasantly with a condescending smile.

The poor girl looked absolutely peaked.

"Alila…a very pretty name. Did you know my great great grandmother's name was Alila. She was one of the greatest Duchesses of Thalassa. Renown for her elegance and beauty. Everybody wanted to be like her…like how everyone wants to be me," I circled around her as I said this and I saw her head lower, even more petrified.

"Duchess Alila…she was from one of the most noble families, the Duke of Quidon was her father and her mother was from the highly decorated Zezin family. Now, do you think that just because you share the same pretty name you can even begin to compete with her? With her great great granddaughter?" I stopped and looked down at her with a disgusted expression.

"I'm sure your peasant mother chose that name in hopes that it would bring you great fortune…I've heard how the commoners like to name their children elaborate names unworthy of their status in hopes of good luck, superstitious crap…Lady Alila, do you think that you can compete with me?" I smiled at her.

Alila was fuming on the inside, I could tell. She had been a favorite to many powerful men and it gave her a foolish sense of protection.

"My mother was not a peasant, your highness…she was the daughter of merchant nobleman, like your mother was," she spoke rather defiantly.

I laughed at her audacity then with a pleasant smile, I smacked her across the face. She screamed for I had burned her pretty little face with a great slash of scarlet flames.

"Do you see that? Can you do that, Lady Alila? Can you say that you can firebend like a master? Can you say that you had kings and emperors attend your christening? Can you say that you are the heiress to the wealthiest, most powerful family in the Fire Nation? Can you say that you own the largest dukedom in the world? Can you say that you are me? No, you can't…you cannot even begin to be compared to me, Lady Alila. You are nothing and have nothing, while I have everything."

"Yes, your highness, but you will never have his love. You will never be loved like I am!" she had the audacity to speak in that manner to me.

"Go now and ask who will take your side and defend you. Go, go and see who will still love you," I sadly replied.

Alila angrily rose and ran to find her lovers. No one came to her side as I had expected. Though, I was marred by scandal, no one dared to cross me still.

"Do you see Alila…when you have nothing, no one cares about you. Everybody's love is fleeting; there is no eternal love…it doesn't exist. Nothing is eternal…" I mused to myself as I pricked myself with the sewing needle.

Alila disappeared after that but many more came after her. After the first half dozen, I ceased to attempt to stop these girls for Luten cast them off just as quickly. I could hardly believe his actions.

We had both fallen so greatly; I knew that this masquerade couldn't go on for much longer. I couldn't go on much longer…neither could he.


	22. Chapter 22 Blame

Mother had been right. I was the cause of everyone's misery. My existence was killing everybody in the same way I had made my mother die a little everyday.

Zuko was horrified and shocked at his beloved cousin's actions. The cousin, who he had once admired and respected above anyone else, had fallen so greatly that Zuko couldn't help but assume that it was my fault

It was impossible for us to masquerade as a happy couple now so Luten and I stopped bothering to try to appear so. He led his hedonistic lifestyle in his court and I dutifully led mine under Princess Ursa's.

The court and the world were on my side. Princess Aria's teardrop pearls reminded everyone of her tragic story and they all assumed that I was the innocent victim in a similar manner as her. Luten's extravagant lifestyle was highly frowned upon and as a result he lost all of the favors of the court. I had won the public but the royal family was more conflicted.

"Kara…" Princess Ursa was tending to her blue irises herself as she spoke to me.

"Why do you tend to those flowers yourself when others could do it. You are sullying your hands, your highness; those flowers are not worthy of your personal care. They are so common," I interrupted her purposefully. I did not want to hear what she had to say to me.

"That is your problem, my dear," she looked up and turned to me, "You are certainly a jewel, Kara, a rarity in life, so coveted and priceless that everyone wants you. And you deserve all of the praises in the world for such valuable gems should be recognized for their unique value," she gave me a wearied smile then returned to her worthless flowers, "but my dear, some people find it hard to applaud such rarities for as I said before, you are unique. You are different, and you are so greatly so that some may find it revolting…"

"Are you trying to tell me that this is the reason why my husband does not love me? Please, your highness, I beg you to stop. I don't wish to hear your pitying reasoning's," I icily interrupted her.

"No, my dear…that was not what I was trying to say. All I wished to let you see was that the average, the common, the mediocre, the normal…they can be just as beautiful as the rare Kara rose. These common blue irises can be as beautiful…there is nothing wrong with the common. I know that it is hard to understand for you were raised in such a privileged existence…it was hard for me to see it too, but I have realized that the average, the normal need love too. Do you see, Kara?" she was looking up into my eyes once again.

I did not see what she meant. What is the point in praising what is ubiquitous? Praise and recognition should be reserved for the best, for the perfect…not for the common masses.

I could see how she thought it was my fault as well and it angered me. It made me so terribly infuriated that the royals believed that it was my fault for I was not a royal of blood.

I quickly excused myself and angrily stalked to my chambers when I spotted Azula. I felt a shiver crawl through my bones and I wished to disappear. I lacked the focus that I needed when conversing with her at that very moment. Thankfully she just gave me a pleased smirk and disappeared with her entourage.

I abruptly stopped and looked at the dripping white almond blossoms and breathed in there heavy fragrant scent hoping that it would wash away all the anger I felt building inside me.

"Kara!" With a rough jerk, Zuko grabbed my shoulders.

"What do you want now?" I brushed him off exasperatedly.

"What is the matter with you…with the both of you! Why are you two doing this! Why are you messing everything up?" he was hysterically screaming at me. Ayanna tried to distance the two of us with little success; he was gripping my arms as if he wished to break them.

"Yes, it is all my fault isn't it? It is always me who messes up everyone's happiness, right? It is always all my fault!" I shrieked like a mad woman. He looked taken aback. "Did you ever think about what I had wanted to do? Did you ever think about what I had to endure? Did you ever think about what he did to me?" I shuddered on the brink of tears.

"Why couldn't you pretend? Why couldn't you two pretend a little longer?" he released my arms and shed tears.

"You and your wife didn't make things any easier…and I can't pretend anymore. I am not an actor, Zuko. It is not something I'm very good at," I replied sorrowfully.

"I'm sorry. It's not like Calantha and I could pretend either…but Cousin…he, he was always…" he whimpered like a little child.

"It's the hardest for me you know. Harder than it is for you…I have to live with the humiliation of everyone knowing how my husband hates me. I have to wear these pearls and everyone will know the meaning behind them and I shall have to accept their pity with a smile…"

"Why did we all turn out like this? We were all supposed to be so great…we all had fortune's blessing, the envy of the world…" he mused forlornly.

"I know…I don't, no, I can't understand it either…" I collapsed to the stone floor beside him.

As we watched the almond blossoms fly off with the wind, we knew that everything would end soon. All we could do now was wait for the drama to finally close.


	23. Chapter 23 Schemes

Azula was planning some scheme but she was careful to not divulge much information to me. I knew that she needed me for her plan to work but I was not sure what role I had in her twisted scheme. I was tired of her and I wished to distance myself from her but though she too was tired of me, she steadfastly held on tight to me, refusing to let me go.

"Are you listening to me Kara?" Azula angrily interrupted my thoughts.

"I'm sorry, I was just thinking about more important matters, Azula."

"I want to be Empress…I should be the Empress of the world…don't you agree with me Kara? Or do you think that you deserve that prestigious honor because you are the high and almighty Duchess of Thalassa?" she snidely smirked as she noisily tapped her long tapered fingernails on my violet saucer.

"You know that I didn't mean it like that Azula…" I replied exasperatedly.

"You sound exasperated with me…you really should at least try to act a little more sprightly even if you are miserably depressed. No wonder Cousin is causing scandal by lying in the arms of other women," she rudely snapped.

"My husband is the only one in this world you does not love me. Only one from all the world…I do not care about his opinion. It is insignificant to me," I coldly retorted.

"See, there is the Kara that I know," she smirked happily, "You know you've been acting unlike yourself since your marriage to Cousin. I knew that it would be a bad idea but Mother was so adamant. I never could understand why. At least you could have married Zuzu…he is unfortunately a part of my immediate family. It's always made me curious…Mother adores you, more than me even…Anyways did you see Seraphina's gown at last night's ball? It was horrendous."

What she said made me think about that uncomfortable question yet again. It was infuriating because I could not answer it. I suppose that I didn't wish to know the complete truth either. There was no point in knowing now…

"Well, anyways, just stay exactly the same Kara. Everything you do makes it so much easier for me. I knew that you would be my ticket and I am gratefully for that," she slyly spoke as her cat eyes darted across my questioning face.

"What do you mean?" I tried to maintain my calm demeanor but she easily see the anxiety behind my cold indifference. She just smirked happily then left me to ponder her words alone.

I was surprised by Luten's appearance in dinner however. He had reverted back to his cold superiority, his normal self.

We ate in silence as usual but I couldn't help but spy upon him eating with swift efficiency. His quick change stroke a quiet fear in me.

"I shall be leaving again…to the battlefield. I shall help Father with the last blow to Ba Sing Se's walls," he abruptly spoke, breaking the tense silence.

"Did he ask for it?" I wondered out loud. The Crown Prince, General Iroh, was known as the Dragon of the West. He did not need any help from anybody.

"No, but the Fire Lord wishes for me to assist him…Uncle Ozai has recommended this as well," he stumbled angrily at my rudeness.

"How long shall you be gone?" I made an unsuccessful attempt at sounding pleasant.

"I shall return in a month. I cannot take more than that now. Ba Sing Se's walls will fall," he replied stoically.

"When shall you leave?" I didn't really care.

"Tomorrow…I shall see you before I leave," he spoke icily, yet I heard a tremor in his cold voice.

"I wish that I had known sooner, I would have prepared something special…" I gave him a half-smile.

"There is no need. This is a victory that is already in place. We shall celebrate afterwards," he tried to sound triumphant but I heard the uneasiness behind the sparkle.

Word spread quickly and all clustered around the gates to wish my husband a victorious journey. All were cheering with delusions of grandeur but the immediate royal family. Azula seemed upset at the fact that her cousin would receive all the honors with the victory over Ba Sing Se, yet Prince Ozai seemed content at sending the future crown prince off. Princess Ursa's feelings were hard to tell but she wished him luck with a pleasant smile. Calantha was teary-eyed but she seemed glad that he would receive great honors and Zuko seemed upset about the dangers his cousin would face. These were all masks however. We all knew in our hearts how this journey was meant to end.

Luten swung up on to his horse and for the second time, he gave me an uneasy kiss on my cheek. This time however I didn't ask him to promise that he would return and he never promised to come back. Again, I watched him leave, disappearing into the mist, and I knew that this would be the last time I saw him. I suppose he knew too for he seemed rather happy at the fact that he would leave the palace.

I couldn't understand why he didn't know. He had been so smart. He should have known…but a part of me realized that he probably did know. But what can you do if everyone is against you? What would you do if you knew that everybody wanted you gone…I think he knew…he knew and he accepted his fate. I think he was happy that he no longer would need to live knowing that I would have to be beside him.


	24. Chapter 24 Luten

I was painting the dripping yellow daffodils when Ayanna's shadow interrupted me. Solemnly she held out the magnolia tray and handed me the golden scroll.

"He is dead, isn't he?" I softly asked.

"The great Prince has unfortunately passed into the next life, Dowager Princess."

"Dowager…I don't like it. I thought I would but…I don't like it Ayanna," I looked at her with tears in my eyes.

Everyone fell on their knees and started to mourn. A darkness swept over the land and once again Luten and I were in the spotlight once more. However this time, I was forced to be scrutinized alone while he rested in peace.

"This is all your fault!" Calantha burst into my chambers, her face splotchy and her dark eye makeup running in streams down her cheeks.

"Princess, please control yourself. The Dowager Princess is in mourning as well," Ayanna chastised her gently as she struggled to make her leave.

"It's alright, Ayanna. Let her say her piece. Let the commoner who had no relation to my husband blame me for his death. It shall be interesting…" I smiled sardonically as I rose and stared down at the tearstained princess.

"You…you're not even sorry! You don't have an ounce of remorse!" she hollered at me.

"Why do you care, Calantha? Your husband is alive and well. Why do you care so much about my husband? Why do you care!" I angrily glowered at her.

"It was all your fault. Remember that....bitch," she whispered, exhausted by her outburst, and she trudged back to her chambers.

I swallowed my anger for Ayanna needed to dress me in my ceremonial robes. I was to receive my husband's body from General Iroh himself.

I caught a glimpse of my reflection and I realized how similar I looked to the day of my wedding. I was nearly drowned in a mountain of luxurious robes and delicate veils, the teardrop pearls prominently dangling by my cheeks. I even had the same expression of hopelessness.

I stood a few steps in front of the gathered royal family, prominently on display before the whole court.

The gates opened and the white veils fluttered in the winds as a decadent procession brought in my husband. The golden casket was draped with black and red silk his crown was perched on top. His father was beside him, crying endlessly.

I rose and bowed to the both of them and approached the casket.

"Father, thank you for bringing my husband home," I somberly spoke as I reached towards the casket. We then proceeded to a different chamber away from the eyes of the court.

As I approached my husband, I was blocked by a stinging slap across my cheek. I fell to the ground as I looked up in horror. The others gasped and fell silent in shock.

"Don't you dare touch my son!" Iroh shrieked at me as he cried painfully.

I opened my mouth in search for words but none came. Ayanna and my other maids rushed to my side as they tried to help me up.

"You killed my son…you will never lay your dirty hands on my son again," he spoke as if in a whisper.

"How is it that I killed your son? Did I run the spear through him myself?" I spoke angrily while I clenched my teeth.

"Luten pushed himself through it. He ran into his death…purposefully. My beloved son, my only son, wished to kill himself because of you!" he bellowed angrily at me.

"Is it my fault if he was suicidal? I did not push him into the battlefield, I did not even push the spear through him! How is this my fault when I have not done anything!" I angrily retorted back.

Iroh's face could be best described as shock. He was flabbergasted at my angry, cold reply and he could not hide his disgust of me.

"I knew that you were the devil. I knew that you would destroy him…and you did. I should have stopped you…but I couldn't."

"Then, this is technically your fault. You should have stopped our marriage but you didn't. You allowed your son's demise…" I coldly replied back and angrily stalked away.

I stomped into my chamber and threw off my robes. I stormed into my parlor and locked myself in. I fell to the floor and started to cry.

"Don't you think I want to run myself through a sword everyday? Did you ever think about how I felt everyday when I was with your son? How I hate him and wished to die every second we spent together? Did you ever think about how I felt?" I spoke to myself and felt warm tears fall down my cheeks.

Though everybody was gone, they still haunted me. Though they were dead, they couldn't leave me alone. Nobody, not even the dead, wanted me to be happy.


	25. Chapter 25 Smile

It was an uncertain time for everybody. The royals, who tried so desperately to convey the illusion of their immortality and superior power, were losing the faith of their empire and I realized that as they crumbled, I crumbled.

My purpose in life had always been to be the right hand of the most powerful and influential man in the world…and he had killed himself. The royals didn't know how they wished to deal with me. A dowager princess, a widow of a mere prince, was not influential enough to remain in the main palace. Of course, one could not erase the past history but there was no reason for them to accommodate my every whim now. There was no reason for my importance anymore. My husband had died and I had not even left him an heir. At least, I didn't bear him an heir while he was still alive.

As I sat waiting for their verdict, I saw the winter blossoms starting to burst magnificently on the dark limber branches. The delicate simplicity was breathtaking and I suddenly remembered my wedding. The great cascade of fragrant petals that fell on top of us both…his laughter as they brushed across his cold face and my own secret pleasure at the splendor. I felt tears pricking the corners of my eyes.

"Dowager Princess, Princess Ursa wishes your presence," Ayanna quietly announced.

I nodded at her slowly and stood stoically as my maids quickly dressed my difficult clothing. I smoothed the dark ebony gown over my stomach and held my breath as I tried to walk towards Princess Ursa's parlor with a smile. I caught a reflection of myself in the pond and saw how wearied I looked. My scarlet hair was no longer as vibrant as it had used to be and my violet eyes looked sullen and defeated. I still looked startling but I had the look of an overburdened king.

"Kara!" Princess Ursa rose and enveloped me into her kind arms.

"Princess Ursa," I protested gently and we sat down.

"I know how difficult this must be for you. Watching all this happen. I'm so sorry…do not listen to a word the Crown Prince says. He is just tired and upset. Luten was the last thing he could remember his beloved wife by. I think that Iroh just lost his mind when he realized that his most prized possession was lost. Luten was his life you know…" she was babbling.

"Thank you, I know."

"Well, the reason why I called you here my dear was to discuss your position in court…" she hesitantly spoke as she spied at my expression from the rim of her iris sprayed teacup.

"Yes?" I gave her no expression. My hands fluttered to my stomach and rested there.

"My dear Kara, you are a dowager princess now…after the ceremony and mourning periods are over, you are free. Most dowager princesses decide to reside in the Damara palace, while others return to their own private palaces…I don't want you to think that we are banishing you from court. You are always wanted at court…but the elders have been wondering if you wished to leave. We know how it is a difficult time."

I looked up to see her smiling expectantly at me. I was right. They all wished me to leave. They wished to banish me and they could now. I felt anger building slowly inside me. These people had forced me into this marriage and taken everything from me…and now they were simply telling me to leave. But they should have known better when they brought me to court in the first place. I was not easy to control while I was here and it would not be easy to banish me out from their world. They forced me in but they would not force me out.

"Princess Ursa?" I smiled at her.

"Yes, dear?" she smiled pleasantly, expecting the answer.

"I have Luten's child," I smiled widely, sarcastically.

"Pardon?" her face dropped ever so slightly to my surprise.

"I am going to have Luten's child," I repeated.

"How?" she seemed horrified and confused, then she placed an ecstatic smile on her face, "Congratulations, dear! Does anyone else know?"

"No," I placed my practiced smile on my face, static and dead.

She seemed overly excited after that. Children always were good news, even if their fathers were no longer alive. She said that she would break the happy news to the elders. I thanked her and left.

As I walked towards my chambers, Zuko grabbed my hand.

"Zuko!" I was surprised by his touch.

"You didn't really do it on purpose did you?" his golden eyes quivered with overflowing tears.

"Didn't do what?" I stole my hand back; angry that he thought Luten's death was my fault.

"Of course, you didn't do anything…I just can't understand why Cousin had to die…I don't understand," he collapsed into uncontrollable sobbing.

"Maybe it was me…he hated me so much, maybe death was a better alternative," I whispered as tears welled in my eyes.

"No! Kara, don't say that. He didn't hate you…it was just…he knew how I loved you and he found it hard to love you at the same time. It's been like this since we were young. We are so alike, we both like the same things…but we love one another too. He was like my brother, and he always felt that he had to give up some things for me, while I felt that I had to give some things up for him. It was the same for you, I believe," he smiled softly through his tears.

I knew it in my heart that it was not true. Luten did not and never would have loved me, even if Zuko had not been in the picture. But those false assurances made me feel so much better, so much more whole; I accepted them with great thanks. It made me feel for the first that I was lovable.

I smiled at the crying prince and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you," I whispered, "thank you for making me feel human…"

He smiled at that and nodded. I watched him leave for his own chambers with Calantha, when he abruptly turned around with a bright smile.

"I shall be attending the war meetings now! Isn't that great? I have been accepted into the meetings…they finally see me as a grown up," he shouted ecstatically.

"That's wonderful! I know you will do well," I shouted back at him with a great smile.

He nodded with thanks and walked to his chambers a little happier.

I came into mine smiling as well. Of course, these smiles were all forced but what could we do? We had to move on, no matter what the consequences, no matter what lied ahead. We had to believe that we could smile…we had to believe that happiness was possible, even if we knew the truth. All we could do was smile.


	26. Chapter 26 Revenge

A great celebration was held for Calantha's birthday. Though it was a lavish production meant for the new crown princess, everyone flocked to the older one, the one who was disposed of, me.

News of my pregnancy had spread quickly and all offered me their deepest sympathies and congratulations. They were depressed at the untimely death of my husband but felt uplifted with the hopes that my child would be a son, an heir apparent, in honor of Luten.

I gave a static smile but I constantly felt an urge to break down in tears. All of the shallow courtiers were showering me with affection because I was carrying a potential Fire Lord once again. They disgusted me.

I felt strangely attached to this child however. Perhaps it was because I knew that Luten was no longer here, perhaps I finally was maturing enough to appreciate the maternal qualities…I don't know. All I knew was that I wanted this one. I needed this one for my survival…in court as well as for myself.

I abandoned my admirers and wandered onto the balcony which was drowning with crushed petals of a deep damask rose. Its heavy hypnotic fragrance was overwhelming and I wished to vomit.

"Why the long sigh, Dowager Princesss?"

I recognized that chilling voice before I even turned. Prince Ozai rested his long slender fingers at the small of my back and I felt a shiver run down my spine. I remembered our last encounter and I felt an uneasiness as he approached me.

"I knew that you were a special one…just like your vivacious mother. A shame…that you were wasted on that pathetic nephew of mine," his words slithered and twisted like hissing snakes.

"Did you know my mother well, your highness?" I tried to sound cheerful as I slipped out of his grasp.

"I knew your mother very well…she never mentioned it, I suppose? Well, what's past is past. But you remind me greatly of her…my nephew did not deserve you."

"No, your highness. I did not deserve the prince…" I lowered m head in modesty.

He laughed uproariously as he tried to approach me closer when Ayanna reached my side and begged me to stay out of the chilly night air. I could not have been happier to she her and I obediently followed her back in the decadent party.

Just as I stepped inside, Princess Ursa cheerfully handed me an elaborate goblet as she toasted the rather morose birthday girl. I lifted my glass higher than anyone else as I mockingly toasted her with the courtier's grandiose manner. She colored brightly but accepted it quietly like she was meant to.

I laughed secretly inside as I sipped the golden nectar drink. I tasted a slightly bitter after taste but I dismissed it for I was thinking sour thoughts. I downed the bittersweet drink as I laughed at the awkward exchange between Zuko and his wife. They stiffly embraced for the public and I couldn't help but remember Luten's cool fingertips on my flaming cheeks and his tender lips brushing on my own. A flood of emotions raced through me and I let out a small gasp as my fingers lost their grip.

The goblet fell to the marble floor and shattered making an elaborate pattern out of the jeweled shards. I stared at it in a calm marvel when I felt myself on the cold marble floor. I felt my eyes close slowly and my fingers grazed at the cool smoothness and a tear strolled down my left cheek.

Distantly, I heard the alarm of the courtiers. I assumed something terrible must have occurred but I couldn't tell what. Ayanna's scream was very close to me and I scowled. Zuko's alarmed face loomed closely over mine and I smiled up at him as I felt him lift me from the cool floor into his warm arms.

I felt a little sadness parting from the cold but I had spent so many years with it, I suppose I deserved a little warmth in my life.

When I opened my eyes, I saw the billowy white silk curtains above me, the silk saved for the dead. Alarmed, I quickly rose but buckled back in pain. As soon as I was about to shout for Ayanna, I saw Princess Ursa serenely smiling as she walked towards my direction.

"So, you've finally awoken. Lie back down my dear, you are still in pain," her words were as smooth as the silk.

"Am I dying?" I heard the slight terror in my voice and instantly regretted asking the childish question.

"No, my dear. But someone else did…" she smiled.

Her smile was like nothing I had ever seen before on her. There was no weariness, no pathetic acceptance…just pure triumph.

Then I realized the emptiness I felt in my stomach. Tears instantly erupted from my eyes and I collapsed onto my pillows. Then it dawned on me.

"You did this to me!" I venomously shouted at the smiling Princess.

"Do you remember the first thing I told you, Kara? The very first thing when you came into court?" she remained triumphant.

"You said to never trust anybody…not even you," I bitterly replied as I tried to understand why she was doing this to me.

"You certainly know the story of Lady Lyssa, don't you Kara? She died exactly where your beloved Kail died, on that monstrous cliff," her smile morphed into a bitter scowl.

"Yes. She committed suicide…the weak man's escape," I glared at her.

"Lady Lyssa was my sister. My beautiful older sister. She was meant to be the Duchess of Thalassa…meant to be the envy of world but your mother, your cheap mother, stole your weak father away. Your mother killed my sister!" she shook with fury and I saw her gentle amber eyes blazing with anger.

"You killed my baby because of my mother?" I asked with disbelief.

"You don't know how despicable your mother is. She was my father's ward…an accident from another whore. As soon as she came into our household, she made life unbearable for Lyssa and me. We were always under her shadow…her beauty saved her, that's all. The little flirt disrupted everyone's engagements. Prince Ozai can still never forget her and your father nearly lost his entire inheritance for her. I hated her so much, Kara…like how you hate Calantha."

"What does my mother have to do with me?"

"I couldn't exactly let my son marry the daughter of Callia could I? So I made it so that you would become the bride of Luten, knowing how unhappy you would be. I arranged everything so that Callia couldn't win," she smiled maniacally.

"You made your own son sacrifice his happiness for the sake of your revenge? You are even more terrible than my mother," I spat disgustedly at her.

"Your mother killed my sister! Lyssa was so heartbroken after Karan chose Callia over her…Callia might as well have just pushed her over the cliff with her own hands. I could never forgive your mother for it…I didn't mean to hurt you. I know how you are different. I know how much you suffered under Callia as well. I wanted to save you…but you look so much like her, you look exactly like her. Your gaze, your sardonic smile…you have her temper as well. You may not look exactly like her…she had a crasser beauty in my opinion, though I know people preferred her face over your patrician bearing, but you are certainly her daughter nonetheless. I couldn't bring myself to not hurt you as well. But I really did care for you, my dear. I did, believe me," she spoke in gasps. She had worn herself out with the memories of my mother.

I angrily rose and glared down at her.

"Why did you have to kill my child!" I yelled at her and she laughed shrilly.

"My son cannot lose to your child…what if you actually gave birth to healthy baby boy? I cannot watch Callia's grandchild become the Fire Lord…Lyssa would never forgive me," she smiled at me as she was triumphantly pleased.

"Get out…get out now!" I angrily yelled as I collapsed to my knees in pain.

"I didn't mean to hurt you my dear…I really didn't hate you. It was your mother…now we are even," she spoke softly with slight sadness tainting her false apology.

She turned to leave but she looked back and she smiled at me in the manner she had done for years. All I did was glare back at her.

I was never going to forgive her. It was all her fault. It wasn't my mother…it was her. She had ruined my life and she had killed my last hope. I was not going to let her go this easily. I was not my mother, I was stronger than my mother. I would make Princess Ursa regret everything she did to me, even if it meant that I would have to ruin the entire royal family as well.


	27. Chapter 27 Trap

As soon as I was able to walk without buckling over in pain, I had Ayanna dress me in an onyx colored gown. No one else would mourn so I couldn't do anything but mourn silently.

Ayanna tightened my waist and as I felt my bones crushing inside I looked in the mirror with silent determination. They would never forget me. I wouldn't make them forget me.

All the ladies with their powdered faces and heavy lidded eyes hid their pitying gazes under their feathered fans. The soft pink petals of the cherry blossoms fluttered like butterflies in the wind and I caught one between my fingertips. After looking at it, I released back to the wind carrying all my sorrows with it.

"Kara?" Azula was surprised to see me in her chambers.

"What is it that I have to do?"

Azula rose and strode over to me with a wide smile. Her long fingernails grazed my hands slightly as she embraced me.

"I knew that you would come around eventually Kara. We shall take everything and all will bow to us. We shall have everything," she whispered ecstatically.

I smiled and listened to her foolish grandiose dreams. I would use her to destroy them. They would regret the day they ever met me.

The willowy branches were blowing sorrowfully in the breeze when I walked through the garden. I positioned myself and in a few moments I heard Zuko's soft surprise.

"Kara? Are you alright? What are you doing out here in the cold?" he appeared worried as he dropped his scrolls to his servant's arms.

I smiled widely up at him as I threw my arms around his neck. He seemed surprised but welcomed my affection. I looked up into his kind eyes with a tender smile and let my lips brush across his blushing cheeks.

"Thank you Zuko."

"Why? Did I do something?" he smiled with slight confusion.

"Thank you for always being there. I think its my turn to be by your side now," I brushed his cheeks with my hands.

"Kara, are you really alright? It's been just days since…" a worried shadow cast over his face.

"I'm fine Zuko. I feel better now. I…I would never have truly loved that child anyways. It was Luten's. I'm not sure I would have been able to face the child with any affection. It's better this way. Now I'm free," I smiled brightly as I spun under the falling blossoms.

"Kara…" Zuko's voice was tainted with a pained sadness.

"If you still want me…I'm yours now. We're free to be together now. If it's what you want, of course," I stopped spinning and stared expectantly at him.

He looked at me and hung his head, downcast.

"What's wrong? Do you not love me anymore?" I lifted his chin and stared at him worriedly.

"Kara…how can I do that Luten?" his eyes were brimming with tears.

"You're right," I smiled tenderly at him, "I'm being selfish. Of course, I should remain forever unhappy in honor of the husband who despised me," I nodded in resignation.

"That's not what I meant, Kara," he grabbed my wrist with a pained expression.

"Then what? What am I supposed to do now?" I implored with a frown.

"I want you to stay by me…" he decided.

I embraced him excitedly and we laughed together. The fragrant blossoms falling like snowfall around us filled the air with their intoxicating scent.

"Here, Zuko. This is a present I want to give you. It was my father's…" I had Ayanna hand him golden bound books.

He looked surprised but he thanked me and handed them to his servants. I abruptly parted from him and with a smile I left him under the blossom tree.

As I entered the now barren arch into the women's quarters I felt a ting of remorse but I caught a glimpse of Princess Ursa and I swallowed any pity I felt and gritted my teeth.

I turned to walk into my chambers when Calantha and her entourage blocked me.

"What is the meaning of this?" I angrily spat at her.

"How long are you going to do this to yourself? It is about time that you bowed out of shame," Calantha bitingly cursed.

"I will leave when I wish to leave! But don't worry, I don't wish to stay here for very long. First though I have to make sure all of you are comfortable first before you banish me," I glared down at her petite figure.

"What are you planning now?" she was hysterical.

"Don't worry your little head with those things, little Calantha. But you will never forget my face, know that," I said mockingly before I disappeared into my chamber.

They would never forget me, I was going to make sure of it.


	28. Chapter 28 Blackmail

As I had breakfast, I suddenly missed Luten. I never thought that I would miss him but I was wrong.

I continued to mechanically eat my porridge when I heard the angry stalking of Princess Ursa right beside me.

"You! It was you, wasn't it?" she screamed at me as she threw my porridge on the marble floor, shattering the bowl into a million little pieces.

"What did I do?" I calmly asked without even bothering to move.

"He is going to die because of you! You are responsible for his doom!" she was hysterical, her amber eyes glittering with fear.

"Just like you're responsible for the death of my family?" I coldly replied.

"But you loved him! How could you?" she was on the verge of tears.

"I didn't do anything. I don't know what you're talking about."

"You…you're ruining everything," her body shook.

"You ruined my life! And the lives of so many others…I really don't think that you are in any position to blame another," I rolled my eyes.

"I thought you were different," she said bitterly.

"I'm not, and neither are you. We are all the same terrible people," I said statically.

She fell on her knees as I stood up and she looked up at me with tears in her eyes. I felt a rush of triumph and euphoria as I saw her kneel before me. I laughed and stalked out of the room.

As I walked under the shaded arch, I remembered how lonely I felt that morning. I was alone.

"He is going to die because of you!"

I turned to see Calantha running towards me with angry tears streaming down her cheeks.

"What is this? Who is going to die because of me?" I said coldly.

"I don't know how you're able to do all this, but I know it's all your fault. Zuko's death shall be imminent because of you."

"What are you talking about?" I was startled.

"Prince Ozai has asked Fire Lord Azulon to overlook Prince Iroh as the next heir. The Fire Lord has called for the execution of Zuko for Prince Ozai's insolence!"

"What?" I grabbed her shoulders and shook her, "How did this happen!"

"I thought it was you…" her slate grey eyes were confused and her shoulders slumped.

"Azula…but she promised," I gasped to myself.

I turned to leave when Calantha grabbed my wrist.

"You can't possibly mean that she wished to kill her own brother! Tell me that you're lying!" she screamed as she fell on her knees.

"You know Azula…she would kill me too if it meant that she could gain the crown," I said disgustedly and turned to her, "if I were you, I would leave…it's no longer safe inside these walls."

She looked at me with confusion but shook her head in acceptance.

"What about you? Your life is no longer guaranteed as well," she asked cautiously.

I didn't bother to answer her. Instead I rose and ran to find Azula.

Ayanna and the other maids were following me hurriedly as best they could, imploring me to slow my pace. I had gathered my skirts and lifted them, revealing my numerous undergarments as I sprinted towards Azula's chamber. I felt as if I couldn't breathe and anger bubbled up inside me as my heels struck against the marble floor.

"Azula!" I ran into her chambers.

"Kara?"

"How could you! You promised me!" I glared at her.

"I never promised anything," she smirked.

"He is your brother, Azula!" I stared at her in horror. I knew that this meant nothing to her but I wished to not believe it.

"Zuzu and I were never like you and your Kail. My brother is just a nuisance and my father knows this too," she flicked at her nails.

I felt my body shake with anger. I could not believe how she had broken her promise to me.

"I don't want to do this anymore. I'm not going to be a part of this anymore!" I shouted at her.

"You can never abandon me, you know that Kara. I know too much about your family."

"I no longer care. No one will believe you anyways."

"Do you really believe so? Your family does not have the cleanest record in history books. The great Duchy of Thalassa has been marred with scandals since many generations before. People are just expecting another scandalous story from your family."

"You can't do this..." I angrily whispered.

"Can't I? Sure, so you don't care about your reputation do you? You really believe that the people love you, their princess, that much? How exactly do they feel about your brother though?"

"Do not bring Kail into this! He is no longer a part of our story!" I felt tears pricking in the corners of my eyes.

"Oh but he has always been a part of this, Kara! It is because of him that everything has happened," she taunted.

"Is it not enough that he is dead?" I glared at her.

"No. Do you really want to tarnish your brother's memory? Your beloved Kail?"

"Never speak his name again, Azula. I shall slit your throat if I ever hear you utter his name again," I hissed at her.

"I should hang you now," she laughed with a scowl.

I hung my head and I realized my mistake. Everything I had so desperately tried to bury were coming alive again. There was no stopping it.

But I had to stop it, even if it meant hurting Zuko in the process. I couldn't tarnish Kail's memory, I just couldn't.

I shook my head in acceptance and agreed to Azula's plans. Our fate's had been intertwined and it was impossible to disentangle myself from this. Everything was coming to their end and I was to bring it.

"Imagine Kara, if I had never seen you two, what sort of lives would we be living now? Would we still have been such dear friends?" Azula spoke mockingly.

"We were never friends Azula...and there is no point in going back in history. What is past has past," I whispered in resignation.

"It's funny though, the past always comes back to haunt you. Nothing is ever truly gone. There is always some remnant of what was," she cackled.

"I am not embarrassed of my past. And nothing you can say will bother me," I spoke steadily as I tried to contain my anger.

"Really? You, Kara? You are always bothered by something...always the spoiled little princess who must have things her way. You really believe that you are loved don't you?" she taunted bitterly.

"No, of course not. Everyone hates me...what they love is my money," I replied bitterly.

"Yes...of course the whole money thing again. We understand that you are fabulously wealthy Kara. But what has that brought you?" she brushed past me with a disgusted expression.

"Nothing but misery...yet everything."

"You are so nauseating...It's unbelievable," she scowled disgustedly at me.

I rose and angrily left. I ran past the pairs of elaborately costumed ladies with their pale faces painted like spring flowers. I pushed aside the clustered groups of maids as I felt my heart pressing against my chest.

I pushed aside Ayanna as I ripped off my coat and shut myself in my bedroom. I fell to my knees and felt as if I couldn't breathe. The fall leaves in their fiery colors brushed against the window and all I could imagine were the bleeding blazes, which would decide Zuko's fate.


	29. Chapter 29 Betrayal

Without a word Princess Ursa disappeared. No one mentioned her and it became as if she had never existed to begin with. At the same time Fire Lord Azulon passed away into the next life and with the disappearance of the two, Zuko's life was spared.

I couldn't help but feel a warm pleasure spread over me as I heard about Princess Ursa's disappearance. She was gone and Zuko could live, everything was perfect. But just like an inextinguishable flame, the bloodshed was to continue. All the money in the world couldn't have stopped it.

"Have you ever wondered why the cherry blossoms are our symbol? They represent the transience of life…odd for a family that is obsessed with immortality, my family that's obsessed with power at whatever the cost," Zuko fingered the nimble branches as tears filled his golden eyes.

"Zuko...I," my apology was stuck at my throat and I hung my head. I didn't know how to congratulate him for his father's coronation.

"I'm sorry Kara…you've been tainted by our family. I wish I knew where she was…do you think she's still alive? Father couldn't have possibly, right?" his golden eyes quivered with fear and naivety.

"Take care of yourself Zuko. Like you said life is too short," I touched his cheek with a smile.

"I don't know what to think anymore…but I still…I still feel some hope when I see you. You make it easier…to cope with this world," he hung his head as sorrow filled throughout my body.

Without saying another word, I leaned and pressed my lips against his. I no longer cared about Azula, Calantha, Princess Ursa, or even Kail. All I felt was pity for the broken prince in front of me, the weak prince who was in love with me.

"Will you wait for me Kara? Will you wait until I can place you right beside me and call you my queen?" he smiled earnestly at me as I stroked his ebony hair.

I didn't reply. All I did was smile, for I wished to believe it too. I desperately wished for this as well but there was a thorn in my heart and it nagged me. We would never be able to be together. We both knew this but it was nice to pretend, even for a brief fleeting moment.

He elegant fingers picked off the tangled cherry blossoms, which were caught in my scarlet waves and pressed his cheek against my hair. He breathed in deeply as he looked sorrowfully out at the dying gardens. Everything was disappearing right before our eyes.

As I sipped lotus blossom tea, Ayanna dropped the golden teapot when another maid rushed to her side and whispered something in her ear. She looked stricken as she told me about an agni kai match being held in the western courtyard at the main palace. I silently continued to sip my tea until she announced that it was between the new Fire Lord and Prince Zuko. I didn't even hear my teacup shatter against the marble floor for I fled to the western courtyard.

A great number of nobles were present as they greedily looked down at the stage. I hurriedly pushed them aside as I ran to the corner of the stage. Zuko was steadfast and confident when he saw my stricken face. He smiled with assurance and I realized that he didn't know who his opponent was. I opened my mouth to warn him when Azula's sharp fingers pulled me back. Her evil grin spread across her pale face as she silently warned me. With silent desperation, I turned back to look at him rise and fall with the revelation. A look of horror cast across his porcelain face and I felt my knees weakening. The Fire Lord, his father, looked furious and I knew that Zuko would not be forgiven.

He fell to his knees and humbly hung his head. I wished to shout at him to rise but I couldn't. Before I could think another useless thought a bright scarlet slash of great flames blinded me and tears flooded my eyes. When I opened them again, all I saw was Zuko's collapsed bleeding body on the polished floor. I couldn't breathe and I quickly turned away from the horror and ran towards the women quarters.

As I fled underneath the decaying floral arches, I fell to my knees when I realized what led to this. I had forgotten the map I had stuck in the Thalassan book I had given him. I had blissfully forgotten my betrayal and now all that was left was this. The map Azula had acquired for me…the map that held the betrayal of the Generals against their own armies…the map was it.

Zuko and General Iroh boarded a ship, a small modest ship as Zuko was given an impossible task, a fool's chase, for a second chance to regain his crown. He was to find the long lost avatar and we knew that he would never return from exile.

I waited to watch him leave and as he passed by me veiling his face, I reached out and handed him a note with a dried blue rose. Even through the veil, I could see his golden eyes glittering.

"I'm sorry," I whispered as his shoulder brushed past mine.

He didn't say anything to me. No parting words, no sweet nothings. My father-in-law, General Iroh, glared at me as he supported his nephew and I was left standing alone in the violent wind.

"I believe this is yours," a steely voice interrupted my thoughts and I turned to see a tear-rimmed Calantha.

She held out an impressive book, my book. The familiar gold decorations of my home…graceful dolphins and elaborate sprigs of exotic flowers scattered the immaculate page. I smiled as I remembered how Kail and I used to brush our fingers over these elaborate covers and marvel at the delicate inundations.

"I know it was you…and I promise you, I will make you regret everything you did," she glared as tears poured out from her slate grey eyes.

I stared at her angry expression and smiled.

"I already regret everything…but please do so. You must keep your promise…make me regret every action I ever committed, and never forgive me," I smiled wearily as tears pooled around my own stormy blue eyes.

Her eyes ablaze, she angrily stalked away as she dropped that magnificent book. Ayanna hurriedly knelt to pick up the priceless treasure but I stopped her and I slowly knelt to pick it up myself. Tears splashed on top of the carved cover and I gently opened it. As my fingers flew over the faded ink, a large teardrop splashed onto the page, smearing the calligraphy K…Kail's initials.

I had lied when I had given the book to Zuko. It was not my father's book…it was my brother's. I had not meant to lie to Zuko then…I don't know what I meant by giving him my most treasured item. I didn't know what I was doing anymore.

I snatched the book up and departed from the palace. As the winds moved Zuko to the vast oceans, I ran back to my empty home…our glittering palace by the sea where Kail was to sleep for an eternity.


	30. Chapter 30 Death

"Kara."

I turned to the cliff where I heard my name. No one was there, only the clear salt wind brushed past my cheeks. I sucked in the cold winter air and felt dizzy. I didn't know what I was doing here at the grave of so many. But the watery tomb kept pulling me closer and closer to the edge.

"Kara!"

I turned again and like before no one was there.

"Who is it?" I spoke softly, slightly afraid.

"Kara," the voice called again and I fell to my knees as I realized that it was Kail calling me.

I shuddered as I looked at the endless sea and memories of that night flooded back to me. Tears were staining my face just like it did that night…

As tears fell down my cheeks, I suck in the cold air sharply.

Kail's soft fingers traced my cheeks then my collar. His lips fell across my eyelids as his finger slipped to my chest. My dress was slowly loosened as his hands slipped under and touched my warm skin. His kind eyes were glazed with a longing and his fingers flitted over my body…

I quickly brushed my raw cheeks and screamed at the top of my lungs with my lips tightly pursed. Everything was against me...I must have done something terribly wrong in my past life. The gods could not have been crueler to anyone else.

Kail...what we did...was that so wrong? If you knew, then why did you do it? I loved you...I trusted you. I would have died for you but you were selfish. You took the easy exit and left me here to deal with your problems. You knew...you knew that we were doing something forbidden. Yet I still love you Kail. I only wish that you were here besides me.

I had everything in the world except the one thing I truly desired. I don't know why nothing ever turned out right. Why couldn't Luten have loved me? Why couldn't he help me forget everything? Why did he have to die? Why did Zuko trust me? Why did I betray him? I have so many questions yet no answers.

"Kara," his voice was like a whisper wrapped in the wind.

"Stop it! Stop calling me!" I shrieked as I covered my ears, "Please stop…please."

I folded my knees to my body as I shook with my head in my hands. A chilling touch on my wrist frightened me as I was pulled onto my feet and I was face to face with a Commander Zhao. I was to return to the palace.

When I entered through the golden gates, past the billowing red silk, I bowed to his new consort, Fire Lady Sanaa. When I rose solemnly, I almost fell back in horror. The Fire Lady's slate grey eyes were hypnotic and full of fire, unmistakably Calantha's.

She had seduced her husband's father in order to seat herself on that throne, the throne originally meant for me. Her triumphant expression made it clear that she had done these unspeakable acts to exact her revenge upon me. All I could respond with was a gasp of horror.

"Duchess Kara, or should I call you Lady Kara? I never knew exactly what you preferred…" her eyes glittered with fury.

"Whatever the lady wishes," I gritted my teeth and lowered my head.

"Do you know how long I waited for this moment? Do you know how eagerly I waited for this?" she whispered bitterly.

"How could you? He is his father!" I angrily hissed back.

"I did whatever I could so that you would be forced to kneel in front of me. Whatever it took to make sure you felt the pain…" her lips thinned into a hardened line.

"What will he say when he finds out?" I taunted.

"He never loved me to begin with…he'll understand that it was all to make you pay for your treachery."

I bowed in resignation when a thunderous explosion interrupted our thoughts. I ran to the courtyard to see the palace in chaos with blood strewn like the perfect red paint in great slashes.

"My lady!" Ayanna screamed in terror and all I saw was Azula's bitter smirk.

Someone pushed me from the back and when I looked at my bodice, I saw a great scarlet stain blooming like the winter flower and I felt a tear escaping from my eyes. I turned to see the culprit and I saw the sardonic smile of Lady Mai, Azula's right hand. A bitter laugh escaped from my lips as I slipped away.

I felt a wave of dizziness then everything was clear. An overwhelming fragrance of Kara roses filled my senses and my eyelids fluttered open to see our cliff and our gardens.

"You've come back!" Kail shouted in exhilaration.

I turned to see his tall frame come bounding forward and he lifted me into the air as he beamed. Tears filled my eyes as I embraced him.

"I told you I'd come back..."

"You took a long time slowpoke. I missed you...but now we have the rest of eternity to be together!"

"Can we really be together forever?"

"We can...here we can," he smiled broadly.

"Why didn't we come here earlier?" I asked with tears in my eyes.

"That's what I was wondering..."

He smiled broadly and his beautiful face shone with all the brilliance I remembered from years past. I embraced him ever more tightly.

"I love you Kail. Now no one shall part us...forever."

"Yes, no one shall part us."

*

Zuko looked sorrowfully at his sister, who was laughing in a maniacal shriek.

"Tell me something, Azula. How were you able to torment Kara so? She had everything in the world…what could you possibly offer her that she didn't already have?" he looked desperately into his sister's golden eyes.

"Silence of her family's secrets. They had so many…so many terrible secrets," she laughed.

"It couldn't have been possibly as bad as ours…"

"Ha ha, Zuzu, your beloved Kara had quite an interesting relationship with her brother…her beloved Kail," she giggled, half-crazed.

"Stop Azula," he interrupted her.

"What?" she looked up at her brother's scarred face.

"Stop it. She kept her bargain, you should keep your part of it," he replied coldly as he turned to leave.

"Are you not curious?" she screamed at him.

"No," tears pooled in his one eye as he spoke softly, "I wish to preserve her memory with what I know directly from her. Unlike you Azula, I respect the wishes of others."

"She loved her brother! And her brother loved her back…they were lovers!" Azula triumphantly shrieked as her lips twisted into a grotesque smile.

"At least they cared for one another."

"What is that supposed to mean?" she shrieked.

"Truly Azula, did you ever feel even the slightest compassion for me?"

"What?" she was confused.

"I never ever felt anything but hatred for you," he said coldly and left her to remain in the freezing dungeon all by herself.

*

Her body was taken back to Thalassa, where my lady was given her proper funeral. As she disappeared into the watery grave, all I hoped was that she would finally find peace in the dark waves where her beloved family resided. I bowed my last bow to the last Duchess of Thalassa.

THE END


	31. Epilogue

Epilogue~

Zuko felt a heaviness settle over his heart as he approached the Hall of the Peacock, her former rooms. His eyes shut trying to keep in the flooding tears, he remembered the golden days…the days when everyone was still alive.

He pushed the heavy golden doors apart and he slowly entered the dusty rooms…her rooms. Tears filled his golden eyes as his eyes flitted over her faded portrait still hanging by the east windows of her parlor. As he fell to his knees, he looked up and he saw her turn to him and smile brightly as the afternoon sun. He strained to not blink in fear that she would disappear as tears fell onto her Belvean rugs. Zuko held his breath as she walked towards him, her hand outstretched. Gasping, he held out his own hand and she smiled as she came closer. He eagerly stood up to rush to her side.

"Kara? Are you really here?" his voice was barely above a whisper.

"Zuko. Everything's all right…I lov…" she smiled broadly as she did when she was younger.

Her fingers were right in front of him when he felt someone touch his shoulders. As he turned to see who it was he immediately turned back to find nothing but air. He let his arm drop to his side as he angrily turned to see his the intruder.

"Zuko, I…I…Do you still love her? Even after all she did to you? Even after she destroyed your family?" Calantha's wearied face was crinkled in anger and confusion, her slate grey eyes spilling tears.

"We had no right to force her here…we destroyed her. We have no right…no we cannot place any sort of blame on her part," he spoke desolately.

"Don't you understand? She made all of this happen! She made your mother die, she destroyed you, she killed Luten…she did all of this! Why can't you understand that?" Calantha shrieked as she clutched his silk shirt.

He looked at her with slight disgust as he pushed her roughly aside. Calantha fell to her knees and her long dark hair spread out on the reflective obsidian floor like a satin fan.

"You don't have any right to say anything! You of all people! You…my wife, my step-mother, I don't even know what I am supposed to call you!" tears fell from his golden eyes as he looked at those hypnotic eyes in disgust.

"I did everything I could to exact revenge on her…on your beloved rose. Yes, I betrayed you to become Fire Lady Sanaa, so that I would have the power to completely destroy her! All because she destroyed you…" Calantha's voice faded as she realized the ridiculousness of her ambition claims.

"I cannot understand what he ever saw in you…" he shook his head with a grimace.

Her face fell as she lowered her gaze in resignation at the mention of the dead prince.

"You're right…that's why he fell for her too. Everybody fell for her and nobody loved me. He never saw anything in me," she gave a crackly smile with tears spilling down her face.

Zuko shook his head with disgust as he stepped away from her and left the hall.

He walked into the gardens once kept by his mother and her. He didn't know the nature of their relationship but he no longer wished to know. So much had tarnished his beloved memories and he wished to keep what little happiness he had left.

As he walked through the flower paths, he saw how all the roses, lilies, and daffodils were dead. All her favorites had wilted away and died, very much in the manner she had been forced to leave.

He continued to walk through and saw the fields of blue irises, ironically growing marvelously. A tear fell down his pale cheek as he plucked one from the ground. When he rose, he was surprised to see a young woman in a jewel cobalt silk gown.

"Who is it? I wish to be alone," he commanded and was about to persist when he drew back in surprise.

"Hello Zuko," his mother greeted him with a handful of her irises gathered in her arms.

"Mother? You…you're alive?" he felt as if he had seen a ghost.

"Yes…another person had died instead that night and I have been hiding with the help of your uncle. Now that your father is gone, I have come back," she smiled happily.

"Now that she's one you mean," he remained forlorn.

"Well, that too…" she laughed sadly, "She didn't believe me when I warned her that she needed to love these blue irises…she never listened to anybody."

"Maybe we should have been listening to her, if we wanted her to listen to us," he dropped the blue iris.

"All the exotic, expensive, idolized flowers are gone. The blue Kara rose is nonexistent I hear…but these...these irises thrive. I told her so many times…but this is how life works Zuko. This is life," she looked at her flowers than turned to look at her son's horrified face.

"You are worse than Azula…worse than Calantha perhaps…you are all unforgiveable," his voice was strained as tears stained his face.

"Zuko," her long fingers brushed his cheeks, wiping away his tears, "You are right. We all have the courage to admit that now…now that she gone. Think about that."

"I don't want to Mother. I can't understand you all…for her, for Luten. They didn't deserve what you put upon them," he brushed her aside and walked away.

He collapsed to the ground in her closet unable to stop crying a flood of tears. His body shook with the realization of all the horrors she and his cousin had faced…her wedding gown, hung in display, was an example of that.

"Can you ever forgive us, Kara…even in a million years, I don't think that you can forgive us. A million lifetimes is not sufficient…" he shuddered.

"Zuko."

"Kara?" his head bolted up as he saw her smiling at him again clad in her phoenix red gown.

"Zuko…be happy," her archaic smile in place, she disappeared as seamlessly and quickly as she came.

"You too Kara," were the only words he could muster as he rose.

Zuko looked at all her belongings, her vast material treasures which the royal family had coveted so greatly. He let his hands graze everything she once held in her arms, and with a last look, he shut the doors to the Hall of the Peacock. It was time that he let her go as well.

_Thank you, that was the epilogue…I thought Zuko's feelings were less expressed so this is an addition. Thank you for all the lovely comments…though I never replied, I read all of them and they greatly helped me finish this story. It wasn't perfect but I hope that the people enjoyed most of it like I did. It is finally time for me to let Kara go as well, so this is the very last of her._

_My next story deals with the nobility of the Earth Kingdom. Yes, it is another palace intrigue, but there is so little information about Ba Sing Se and the rest of the Earth Kingdom so I hope that it shall be interesting. It is going to be titled The Forbidden City and there will be three heroines of various social classes in it. I hope you will check that story out as well. _

_parfum_


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